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Woodcut on title page portraying Beehive with motto: Industry, Honesty, and Integrity
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Text
FUN UPON FUN;
OK,
LEPER,
THE
IN
TAILOR.
TWO
WITH
PARTS:
A
SELECTION OF ENTERTAINING ANECDOTES.
GLASGOW:
PKINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS
�THE
MERRY
TRICKS
OF
LEPER,
THE
TAILOR.
LEPEK'S father lived in a village about six
miles from Glasgow, and died when he was
but very young; he left a widow and three
children, two daughters and a son ; Leper
being the youngest, was greatly idolized by
his mother, who was a good soft-natured
woman, very industrious, and followed -th|e
bleaching of cloth;.
As Leper grew up he grew a very mischievous boy, playing many tricks in the
neighbourhood, such as tying cats to dogs
tails, breaking hens' legs, stopping people's
lums, or chimney-tops.; >so that his poor
Another was sadly vexed with complaints
against him.
•
\ To get him kept from mischief, she prevailed with;a tailor to take him as an apprentice; he settled and was very peaceable
for some time, untillie got as much of his
trade on his finger ends as he might pass
for a journeyman, aild then he was indifferent whether he stayed with his master or
Hot; his mistress gave him but very little
meat when he wrought at home, so he liked
�3
best to be in other houses, where he got
meat and diversion.
Leper being resolved on revenge against
his mistress for her thin kail, no kitchen,
and little bread; for though flesh was boiled
in the pot, none was for poor Leper and
his master* but a little bit on Sundays,
and all the bones were kept and put in the
pot, to make the broth through the week.
Leper perceived* always when she took off
the pot, she turned her back and took out
the flesh, and set it on a shelf in her own
bed-room ; one niglit, after work, he steals
out a pan, cuts a piece of flesh out of a dead
horse, and then goes to a lime kiln, and
boils it; next day, his master being from
home, his landlady and lie being in the
house, after she had/ set the pot as usual,
and taken out her bit of-good beef, he goes*
out for some time and then comes in, saying, c the ministers lass is wishing to see
you, to go directly and speak to her mistress/ Off she goes in all haste; Leper runs
and takes away her bit of good meat, and
lays down his horse flesh ; and knowing she
would return in a passion, and sit down
with a soss in her cushioned chair, as slie
used, he takes a large pin and staps it
straight through the,cushion, with its head
on the chair?fand the point to Her b^clfside.
So in she chines in a rage, and down she
w-
�4
sits with all her weight on the pin point ;
and she roars out murder! murder! for she
was sticket in the a—e ; the neighbours
came running in. and Leper went out with
his bit of good beef, leaving the wives to
doctor his landlady's do up, as they pleased;
hestill denied the doing of it, and his master
believed it might happen accidentally, but
the houdie was very oft to be had before it
was got hale again ; and his landlady by
eating of the horse beef took such a loathing at flesh, that Leper and his master got
all the beef ever after, and his landlady
turned one of the kindest mistresses a prentice could Wish for.
There was a neighbour wTife on whom
Leper used to play tricks sometimes, for
which she came and complained to his
master and had him severely beaten several
times. Leper resolved to be revenged on
her, so one night he came to the backside
of the house (110 one being in but herself),
and took up a big stone and runs along the
rough wall with all his strength, which roared like thunder in the inside of the house,
ami frighted the wife so that she thought the
house was tumbling down about her ears,
and she ran out and sat down at a distance,
looking every minute when the house would
fall down, till her husband came home and
persuaded her to go in, to whom she told
�the above story ; ' lio'ut tout, daft tapie/ said
he, 4 the house will staftd these hundred
years/ Leper knowing they were both in,
comes and plays the same trick over again,
which also frightened the good man so much
that he cried out, ' run, Maggy, run, for my
heart plays pitty patty/ And they would
not lodge in the house any more, till the
masons convinced them of its sufficiency.
There was another neighbour who had a
*
snarling cur dog, which bit Leper's leg..
Leper resolved to be revenged on the clog,
and so one night he catches the dog, and
carries him to the kirk, where the rope of
the bell hung on the outside, so with his
garter lie tied the dog's fore foot to the rope,
and left him hanging; the dog struggling to
get free set the bell a ringing, which alarmed
the whole village, every one cried out 'wonderful fire! wonderful fire! the devil is ringing the bell/ When they saw the black
colley hanging at the rope, I trow it set the
minister and all the people to their prayers:
but Leper fearing he would be detected by
his garter, came to the minister's side, and
asked the reverend gentleman what was the
matter; indeed, my bairn,' said he,' 'tis the
deil ringing the kirk bell;' says Leper ' I'll
go and see him, for I never saw the devil;'
the minister cried stop the mad laddie, but
Leper ran and losed the dog, crying 1 its
�6
such a man's dog, which had the rope in its
teeth i they all cried out, 'the deils i' the
cur, the deil's i' the dog/ then took up stones
and felled poor colley, and the devil got the
blame of making the dog ring the bell
This spread Leper's fame, for being one of
the wisest and most courageous tailors that
was in all the kingdom; and many shaking
their heads, said, 'it was a pity he was a
tailor, but a captain or a general of an army,
as the devil could not fear him.'After this, a farmer in the neighbourhood
hearing the fame of Leper, how he had
frighted the deil frae being a bellman, sent
for him to an alehouse, and drank with him
very heartily, and told him he was sadly
borne down by a spirit of jealousy against
his wife; and a suspicion of her being too free
with a servant lad he had before; and if he
w^ould keep it a secret and learn him to find
it out, he would give his mother a load of
meal, to which Leper agreed; so he gave the
poor supposed cuckold instructions how to
behave.. So home he goes and feigns himself
very sick, and every day worse and worse,
taking death to him ; blesses his three small
children, and charges his wife not to marry
until his children could do something for
themselves; this hypocritical woman takes a
crying, ' Aha! marry,'she would never marry! ' no, no, there should never a man lie by
�7
my side, or kiss my Hps after thee r my am
dear lamb Johnny.' Then he acts .the. dead
man as well as he possibly could? [pta neighbours were called in, and he'sjfajrly o'erseen, as the old saying is, befp^e^^^n^ig^if
bours.
The sorrowful widow.. am^e ^fidlament, wrung her hands and'tpfQ her Imir.
The reverend women about began to dross
the corpse, askcc|>her for a shirt. • ^ y , ay,'
said she, ' he has twa new linen ^arks, and
there is an auld ane in the bottom o' the.
kist, that naebody can wear ; ony thing7a
good enough for the grave;' ' well/ said
they, ' we must have some linen for,a winding sheet; 'aweel,' quo' she, ' I ha'e twa
cut o' linen i' the Ifist neuk> but there's a
pair o' auld linen sheets, hol'd i' the middle,
may do well enough, I had need to be qarefu', I'm a poor widow the day, wi' three sma'
bairns.'
Well, the corpse is dressed and laid on
the tap of the big chest, while neighbours
sat by her condoling her paisfortune, and
how the funeral raisins were t;o be provided.
Said one, 'the coffin must need be se$n abput
first.' 'Ay, ay, he has some new fljeals in the
barn ; he bought them to make a bed o ;
but we'll no break them, there's thq auld
barn door, and the caff kist will do well
enough, ony thing's gude enough, to gang
to the grave wi'; but 0,' quo' she, 'send for
�8
Sandy, my honest auld servant, and hell
see every thing right done ; 111 tell him
where hell get siller to do anything wi';
he's the lad that will not see me wrang'd.'
Then Sandy comes wrying his face, and
rubbing his eyes. ' 0 , Sandy, there's a sad
alteration here,' and ba-a, she cries like a
bitten calf, ' 0 sirs, will ye gang a' butt the
house till I tell ye what to do.' Butt they
went, and there she fell a kissing of Sandy,
and said, ' now, my dear, the auld chattering
ghaist is awa and we'll get our will o' ither;
be as haining of everything as ye can, for
thou kens it's a' thy ain ;' but the corpse'
sister and some other people coming in, ben
they came to see the corpse, lifts up the
cloth off his face, and seeing him all in a
pour of sweat, said, ' heigh, he's a bonny
corp, and a lively like colour.' When he
could no longer contain himself to carry on
the joke, up he got among them. A deal
of people ran for it, and his wife cried out
" 0 , my dear, do you ken me?' ' Ay, you
base jade and whore, better than ever I did.'
Jumps on the floor, gets his staff and runs
after Sandy, and catches him in the fields,
a little from the house ; and ate and drank
with his sister and neighbours who came to
see his corpse. Poor Sandy w^ent home with
a skin full of terror, and a sorting of sore
bones, took a sore fever, and died a few
�9
days after ; so he got quit of his cockolder,
and Leper's mother got her load of meal.
Leper's mother was a careful industrious
wife, but as the bye-word is, ' a working
mother makes a dally daughter,' and so it
happened here, for she had two glaikit sluts
of daughters that would do nothing but lie
in their bed in the morning, till, as the saying is, ' the sun was like to burn a hole in
their backsides.' The old woman, who was
bleaching some cloth, was very early at
work in the mornings, and Leper s patience
being worn out with the laziness of his two
sisters, he resolved to play a trick 011 them,
for their reformation, so he goes and gets a
mortcloth, and spread it on the bed above
them, and sends the dead bell through the
town, inviting the people next day, at four
o'clock afternoon, to the burial of his two
sisters, for they had died suddenly. This
brought all the neighbouring wives in, who
O
©
O
R
one after another lifted up the mortcloth,
and said, with a sigh, f they've gone to their
rest; a sudden call indeed!' Their aunt"
hearing of this sudden news, came running
in all haste, and coming where the jades'
mither was at work, and was ignorant of the
story, she cries out, ( Fye upon ye, woman,
fye upon ye!' ' What's the matter, sister,'
says she, ' what's the matter ?' ' I think you
might let your wark stand for a'e day, when
�10
your daughters are baith lying corpse/ 'My
bairns corpse! I am certain they went to
bed hale and fair last night/ 4 But, I tell
you/ said the other, 'the dead bell has been
thro' warning tho folks to the burial/ then
the mother cries out, ' 0 the villain! 0 the
villain, that he did not send me word/ So
they both ran, and the mother as soon as
she entered the house, flies, to the bed, crying, ' 0 , my bairn0, my dear bairns / on
which the sluts rose'up in a consternation,
to the great surprise, of the beholders, and
the great mortification of the girls, who
thought shame to set their noses out of
doors, and to the great diversion of the
whole town.
Leper and his'master went to a gentleman's. house to work, where there was a
saucy houserkeeper, who had more ignorance and pride than good sense and manners; she domineered over her fellow servants
in a tyrannical manner. Leper resolved to
mortify her pride; so. he finds an ant's nest,
and takes their white eggs, grinds them to
a powder, ancl puts them into the dish her
supper so wen s was to be put in. After she
had taken her supper, as she was covering
the table, the imno6k powder began to operate, and she let a great f—. ' Well done,
Margaret, said the Laird, your a— would
take a cautioner/ Before she got out of the
�11
eh amber door slie let fly another crack;
then she goes to order her fellow servant to
give the: Laird hi& stippieiy but before she
could give t.he necessary directions, she gave
fire again, which ;set them all a laughing;
she runs into a room herself, and there she
played away her one gun battery so fast
that you wotildhave thought she had been
beseigittg the Savannah. The Laird and
Lady came to hear the fun, they were like
to split their sides at proud Maggy. So
next morniiVg she left her place, to the great
satisfaction of all her fellow servants.
PART
II.
L E P E R ' S landlady became very harsh to his
master, and very often abused him exceedingly sore with. her tongue and hands, and
always called upon him for more money,
and to have all the money in her keeping,
which Leper was sorry for. It so happened
on a day that the tailor had got a hearty
drubbing, both with tongue and tongs, that
he pouched his thimble and was going to
make a queen of her. When she saw that,
she cried out, 'Of will you leave'a poor
tender dying woman/ But Leper knowing
the cause of her ill nature better than his
�12
master did, advised him to take her on a fine
day, like a mile out of town and give her a
walk, and he would stay at home and study
a remedy for her disorder. Away they both
go ; but as she was also complaining for
want of health, and that she was very weak,
she cried out frequently, ' 0 ! 'tis a crying
sin to take a woman in my condition out
o'er a door.' During their absence, Leper
goes and searches the bed, and below the
bolster gets a bottle of rare whisky, of which
he takes a hearty pull, and then pisses in it
to make it up ; gets a halfpenny worth of
snuff, and puts it in also, shakes all together, and so sets it in its place again.
Home they came, and she was exceedingly
distressed as a woman could be, and cried
out, it was a horrid thing to take her out
of the house. The tailor seeing her so bad,
thought she would have died, ran as fast as
he could for a dram, but she in her hypocrisy pretended she could not take it, and
called on him to help her to bed, into which
he lays her. She was not well gone when
she fell to her bottle, taking two or three
hearty gluts ; then she roars out, 1 Murder,
I'm poisoned, I'm poisoned.' Bocking and
purging began, and the neighbours were
called in ; she lays her blood upon poor
Leper, and tells how snich an honest woman
brought her a'e bottle as another was done,
�and the murdering loon had stolen it and
put in a bottle of poison instead of it. Leper
took to his heels, but was pursued and
carried before a Justice of the Peace, where
he told all he had done, which made the
J ustice laugh heartily at the joke; and the
tailors wife was well purged from her
feigned sickness, laziness, and cursed ill
nature; for always when she began to curl
her nose for the future, the tailor had no
more to say, but ' Maggy mind the bottle/
Leper was working with a master-tailor
in Glasgow, who hungered his men ; and
one morning, just when breakfast was set
on the table, in comes a gentleman to try
on a suit of clothes. The master being
obliged to rise, desired the lads to say the
grace themselves. Every one refused it,
and put it to his neighbour, till Leper undertook it, and said with an audible voice,
that the stranger gentleman might overhear him, as follows:— 'Ocli, hoch! we are
a parcel of poor beastly bodies, and we are
as beastly minded; if we do not work we
get nothing to eat; yet we are always eating and always fretting; singing and half
starving is like to be our fortune ; scartings
and scrapings are the most of our mouthfuls. We would fain thank Thee, for our
benefactors are not worthy the acknowledging ;—hey. Amen/ The gentleman
�14
laughed till his sides were like to bursty and
gave Leper half-a-crown to drink.
Leper was not long done with his apprenticeship till he set up for himself, and
got a journeyman and an apprentice, was
coming into very good business, and had
he restrained his roguish tricks, he might
have done very well. He and his lads being employed to work in a farmer's house,
where the housewife was a great miser, and
not very cle&hly in making meat, and
snivelled through her nose greatly when
she spoke. In the morning, when she went
to make the potage, she made a fashion of
washing the pot, which to appearance
seemed to him to have been among the first
that had been made; then sets it before the
fire till she went to the well, in which time
Leper looking into it, sees two great-holes
etapped with clouts, he takes up his goose*
and holds it as high as his head, then lets
it drop into the pot, which knocked oiit the
bottom of it. Presently in comes the wife
with the water, and pours it into the pot,
which set the fireside all in a dam. for still
as she poured in, it ran out: the wife being
short-sighted, or what they call sand blind,
looks into the pot, holds up both her hands
and cries, ' Losh, preserve me, sirs, for the
grip atween the twa holes is broken.* Says
Leper, * the pot was old enough; but do you
�15
not ken that tailof's potage is heavier than
other men's.' ' Indeed, lad, I believe it, but
they say ye're a warlock ; it's Wednesday
to me indeed, my pot might ha'e served
me this fifty year, a sae wad it e'en.'
This sport diverted Leper and his lads
through the day, and after supper, knowing
he was to get some dirty bed, as the cows
and the people lived all in one apartment,
he chose rather to go home; and knowing
the moon was to rise a little after midnight,
he sat by the fire, told them many a fine
story to drive away the time, and bade the
wife make the bed to see how it might be.
To save candle she made it in the dark, just
on the floor behind where they sat, shaking down two bottles of straw. A calf
which chanced to be lying on that place,
and which the wife did not notice, was
covered with the straw, and the bed clothes
spread over it. The most of the family
being in bed, the wife told them to go to
bed also, but Leper knowing of the calf,
said, ' I'll make my bed come to me,' on
which the wife began to pray for herself
and all that was in the house ; so up he
gets his ellwand, and gives a stroke on the
bed which caused the brute to rise, and
not seeing where to go, it fell a crying and
turned round, which set the whole house
a roaring out murder in their own tongue.
�16
The gooclwife ran to bed above the goodman, and the whole family cried out, not
knowing what it was; but Leper and his
two lads whipt off the blankets, and the
brute ran in among the rest unperceived;
then Leper lighted a candle, and all of
them got out of bed, paid Leper for his
work, and more if he pleased, and begged
him to go away, and take the devil with
him. So home he went, but never was
employed by that wife any more.
Leper had a peal of the best customers
both in town and country; so one time he
had occasion to go to the parish of Inchinan,
to make a wedding suit for a gentleman.
After they were finished, he desired drink
money for his lads, which the gentleman
refused. Leper resolved to be even with
him, so he goes to the hay loft where the
groom slept, and takes his stockings,
breeches, and jacket, sewed them together,
and stuffs them full of hay; makes a head,
puts a rope about the neck, and hangs it
on a tree, opposite to the laird's window ;
then goes to the laird and tells him that
his groom had hanged himself, and that if
he would open his window he would see
him hanging; the laird was struck with
astonishment, and knew not what to do;
Leper advises him to bury him privately.
The laird said he had not a servant he
�17
could trust, so begged Leper to do it.
Leper refuses, till the laird promises him
a load of meal; then Leper pulls out all
the hay out of the groom's clothes ; goes
and gets his load of meal, and sendirit to
Glasgow; then goes to the groom, and
says, 4 Thy master is wanting thee/ So
the lad in all haste runs to see what his
master wanted. The laird no sooner saw
him open the door than he cried out,
'Avoid thee, Satan; avoid thee, Satan!'
The lad says, ' What's the matter?' 'Did
you not hang yourself this morning?'
' Lord forbid!' said the lad. The laird says,
' If thou be an earthly creature, take that
tankard and drink;' which he did. Then
says he to his master, ' Leper called me
up, and said you wanted me in all haste/
' Ho, ho/ said the laird, ' I find out the
story now; if I had Leper, I would run
my sword through him/ But Leper before
that was gone to Glasgow with his meal.
Leper was in use to give his lads their
Sunday's supper, which obliged him to stay
from the kirk in the afternoon, he having
neither wife nor servant maid; so one Sunday afternoon, as he was cooking his pot,
John Mueklecheek, and James Puff-andblaw, two civileers, having more zeal than
knowledge, came upon him, and said,
' What's the matter5 sir, you go not to the
�-—A^HFEI
18
kirk? Leper replied, ' I ' m reading my
book and cooking my pot, which I think
is a work of necessity/ Then says the one
to the other, ' Don't answer that graceless
fellow; well make him appear before his
betters/ So they took the kail pot, and
puts a staff through the bools, and bears
it to the Clerk's chamber. Leper, who was
never at a loss for invention, goes to the
Principal of the College's house, no body
being at home but a lass roasting a leg of
mutton. Leper says, ' My dear, will you
go and bring me a drink of ale, and I'll
turn the spit till you come back/ The lass
was no sooner gone than he runs away
with the. leg of mutton, wdiich served his
lads and him for their supper. When the
Principal came home, he was neither to
hand nor to bind, he viras so angry ; so on
Monday he goes and makes a complaint to
the Lord Provost, who sends two officers
for Leper, who came immediately. My
Lord asked hitn how lie dared to take away
the Principal's mutton. Leper replied,
' How dared your civileers to take away
my kail: pot ?. I'm sure there is less sin
in making a pot full of kail, , than roasting
a leg of mutton; law makers should not
be law breakers, so I demand justice on
the civileers.' The Provost askbdr him
what justice he would have.
Says he,
�19
* make them cai;ry the pot back again; and
to the Principal, a leg of mutton will not
make him and me fall out.' So they were
forced to carry the pot back again ; and
Leper caused the boys to huzza after them
to their disgrace. ?
There was a barber who always plagued
Leper, and called him ' Prick-the-louse/
Leper resolved to be even writh him, so he
goes and buys three sheep heads, £ind sends
for the barber, and told him that there
were three fine Southland gentlemen just
come to his house, which much wanted to
be shaved ; and he assured him he would
receive sixpence for each of them. This
good news made the shaver send for a
dram. Leper was still praising them for
quiet good natured gentlemen. So Leper
takes him to the bed where the sheep heads
lay covered, and desired him to awaken
them for they would not be angry; or say
an ill word to him. The barber lifts the
covering and sees the sheep heads, runs
out cursing and swearing, and Leper crying after him, ' Sheep head barber/
The barber resolved to be revenged on
Leper, so when he -was shaving Mess John,
he tells him "that Leper was the drunkeftest
fellow in the parish. So Mess John w:arns
him to the session. Leper comes and says,
' What do you want with me, Sir ? 6 Come
�- NTH X
NQ F .
So
away, Leper/ says Mess John, 6 1 hear a
bad report of yon/ * Me Sir, I am sure
they were not my'frieiids that told you
that/ 'Indeed, I am informed you are a
drunkard/ 4 1 a drunkard ; you have not
a soberer man in your parish. Stop, Sir,
I will tell you how I lead my life:—In
the morning, I take a choppin of ale and
a bit of bread, that I call my morning ;
for breakfast, I generally take a herring
and a choppin of ale, for I cannot sup brose
like my lads ; the herring makes me dry,
so at eleven hours I take a pint, and sometimes three choppins; at supper, I take a
bit of bread and cheese and a pint, and so
go to bed/ Mess John says, ' It's excessive drinking ; I allow you one half of it
for a quarter of a year/ Says Leper, ' 111
try it, Sir, and come back and tell you/
At the end of the quarter he draws out his
account, and goes to Mess John, who was
sitting with his elders in the Session-house,
and says, ' Sir, I have a demand on you/
1 On me, Sir/
4 Yes, on you, Sir ; don't
you remember you allowed me so much
drink for a quarter of a year, and I want
the money/ 4 Am I to pay your reckoning,
Sir/ ' You allowed it, and if you wont
pay it, 111 take you before the Provost/
The elders advised him to pay it or he
would be affronted; so Leper got the
�21
money. When he was at the door, he says,
4 Sir, will you stand another quarter.' 4 Get
away, says Mess John, and don't trouble
me.' Leper says, ' I am sure you may,
for I am always twopence to your penny.'
THE END.
A N E C D O T E S .
INCONVENIENCE OF A PETITION.
A reverend Gentleman, when visiting
his parishioners, was in one house first saluted with the growling of a dog, and afterwards by the cheering voice of a female.
D—ning the dog for his ill-bi*eeding, he
advanced and enquired for the master of
the house. c What do ye want wi' that?'
said the female. 4 W e are wishing to see
him,' said the Reverend Gentleman, 'will
ye be so good as bring him to us ?' • I'll
gang nae sic an errand,' said she; ' ye may
gang doon to the market yersel', an' ye'll
see him there; they're thrang killin' the
day. But what are ye wantin' wi' Pate,
if a body micht speir.' ' This is the minister,' said the elder who accompanied him,
4 he is wishing to have some conversation
with Peter, and to put up a petition.' 4 A
petition! a petition!' exclaimed the matron,
4 ye'll put up nae patition here; the house
�22
is wee eneugh already, an' wha do ye
think's gaunjto be fashed wi' masons an*
wrightS, an' a' thae elanjamfray about their
house? Faith no—the devil a petition will
be putten up in this house as lang's am
in't; we're gaun to flit at Whitsunday, so
ye may come then an' put up as mony
petitions as ye like/
DUKE OF BUCCLEUCH.
Henry, Duke of Buccleueh was greatly
beloved by his numerous tenantry. One of
his small tenants, Jamie Howie by name,
had a son about four years of age, who,
having heard much of the great Duke of
Buccleuch, was very anxious to see him.
Honest Jamie, in a few days, was honoured
with a visit from the Duke; when Jamie
doffing his bonnet, and making a reverential
bow, says, 4 0 , my lord! ye maunna be
angry wi' me, but it's God's truth, my
lord, there's a daft wee callant o' mine
that canna rest, nor let others rest, nicht
nor d a y ; he has ta'en in his head sic a
notion o' seeing what like ye are ; gudesakc; my lord, I dinna think he has ony
y edea ye are a man at a', but some far awa,
outlandish, ower sea creature.' The Duke,
mightily tickled with this fancy, desired
Jamie to bring the youngster into his presence forthwith. Out comes the juvenile
�23
inquisitor with his finger in f his mouth,
and cautiously recqnnoitres the personage
before . Mmi ; A t last quoth the urchin,
' G m y& soorn,?' ' N o , my little fellow/'
replied his grace, ' I canna sootn/ ' Can
ye flee?' ' No, I canna flee/ 1 Weel, man,
for as muckle's ye're, I wadna gie ane o'
my father's dukes for ye, for they can baith
soom an flee/
A BAMS' TO PIKE.
Some boys diverting themselves in one
of the streets of Edinburgh, observed on a
door, a brass plate with A1—-x>—rid—r
Guthrie, W.S., engraved on it. In their
diversion, they broke a pane of glass in one
of the windows, upon which Mrs. Guthrie
and the maid sallied forth and seized one
of the delinquents.
' Y e young rascal,
what's yer name?'-says the lady. ' Saundy/
replied the boy. ' What's yer ither name? ;
J Guthrie/
< Wha's yer mither?'
< My
mither sells bird's cages/ ' Whaur does
she live? '' I' the Patter R a w / 4 Wha's
yer father?' ' I dinna ken/' c D o ye no
ken yer faither?' 4 Na! he.ne'er comes but
whan it's dark, an' naebody kens bit my
mither.' Upon hearing this, the lady in
a passion let gb 'her victim, and running
into the room where her husband was sitsing, fell a-scolding him like a fury about
�24
his infidelity
rogue laughed
his fraud, and
said to them,
bane to pike!'
towards her. The young
heartily at the success of
turning to his companions,
' I think I've gi'en her a
SEEING- ONE DRUNK.
The late Rev. Mr. C
of D
,
Aberdeenshire, was fond of his friend and
a bottle; he sacrificed so often and so freely
to the jolly god, that the presbytery could
110 longer overlook such proceedings, and
summoned him before them to answer for
his conduct. One of the elders, and constant companion in his social hours, was
cited as a witness against him. ' Well,
John (says one of the presbytery to the
elder), did you ever see the Eev. Mr. C
the worse of drink ?' ' Weel a wy te, n o ;
I've mony a time seen him the better o ; t,
but I ne'er saw him the waur o't.' ' But,
did you never see him drunk?' ' That's
what I'll ne'er see, for before he be half
slockened, I'm aye blind fu'/
§
FINIS.
§
�
Dublin Core
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Title
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Full .pdf reproduction of chapbook.
Dublin Core
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Title
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Woodcut 002: Title-page illustration of a beehive with swarming bees. A motto, "Industry, Honesty, and Integrity" is displayed on a ribbon at the bottom.
Document
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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Fun Upon Fun; or, Leper, the Tailor. In Two Parts: With a Selection of Entertaining Anecdotes
Subject
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Chapbooks - Scotland - Glasgow
Creator
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Dougal, Graham, 1724-1779
Date
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1840-1850 per University of Glasgow Union Catalogue of Scottish Chapbooks
Language
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English
Identifier
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<a href="https://ocul-gue.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/permalink/01OCUL_GUE/mrqn4e/alma9935661183505154">s0587b43</a>
Extent
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24 pages
16 cm
Is Referenced By
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<p><span>University of Glasgow Union Catalogue of Scottish Chapbooks </span><a href="http://special.lib.gla.ac.uk/chapbooks/search/">http://special.lib.gla.ac.uk/chapbooks/search/</a></p>
<div> </div>
Alternative Title
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Leper the Tailor
Contributor
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Archival and Special Collections, University of Guelph Library, Guelph, Ontario, Canada
Rights
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In the public domain; For high quality reproductions, contact Archival & Special Collections, University of Guelph. libaspc@uoguelph.ca, 519-824-4120, Ext. 53413
Format
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JPEGs and PDF derived from master file, which was scanned from the original book in 24-bit color at 600 dpi in TIFF format using an Epson Expression 10000XL scanner.
Publisher
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Glasgow: Printed for the Booksellers
Source
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Archival & Special Collections, University of Guelph Library, Guelph, Ontario
Type
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wit & humor
Description
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Woodcut #02: Illustration on title-page of a beehive with swarming bees. A motto, "Industry, Honesty, and Integrity" is displayed on a ribbon at the bottom.
Animal: bee(s)
Bib Context: title-page
Chapbook Date: 1841-1850
Chapbook Genre: wit & humor
Chapbook Publisher - Glasgow: Printed for the Booksellers
Nature: flower(s)
Outdoor Scene