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                    <text>Woodcut on title-page portraying a young woman (milkmaid?) wearing a hat and carrying two buckets slung over hoops encircling her skirt</text>
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                    <text>FOUR

FAVOURITE
WILLIAM AND
GO, Y A R R O W

SONGS

MARGARET.
FLOWER.

ROBIN" A N D ' A N N A .
COULD A M A N B E

SECURE.
te boaia bud

Oil i
gnmoqo JauL
Md

evoi

ok

PRINTED FOR TIIE BOOKSELLERS.
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.oiitil
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�HrJOr&gt;I

8BHQ8

ITIflUOYA

SONftS

WILLIAM AND

MARGARET.

'Twas at the silent solemn hour,
When night and morning meet;
In glided Margaret's grimly ghost,
And stood at William s feet.
Her face was like an April morn
Clad in a wintry cloud,
And clay-cold was her lily hand
That held her sable shroud.
So shall the fairest face appear,
When youth and years are flown
Such is the robe that kings must wear.
When death has reft their crown.

_ *

Her bloom was like the springing flower
That sips the silver dew ;
The rose was budded in her cheek,
Just opening to the view.
But love had, like the canker-worm,
Consum'd her early prime,
The rose grew pale, and left her cheek;
She died before her time.

�" Awake!" she cried, " thy true love calls,
Come from her midnight grave :
Now let thy pity hear the maid
Thy love refus'd to save.
This is the dumb and dreary hour
When injured ghosts complain,
When yawning graves give up their dead
; T o haunt the faithless swain.
Bethink thee, William! of thy fault,
Thy pledge and broken oath ;
And give me back my maiden vow,
And give me back my troth.
Why did you promise love to me,
And not that promise keep ?
Why did you swear my eyes were bright,
Yet leave those eyes to weep ?
How could you say my face was fair,
And yet that face forsake ?
How could you win my virgin heart,
Yet leave that heart to break ?
Why did you say my lip was sweet,
Arid made the scarlet pale ?
And why did I, young witless maid!
Believe the flattering tale ?
That face, alas! no more is fair,
Those lips no longer red!

�4
Dark are my eyes, now clos'd in death,
And every charm is fled.
The hungry worm my sister is,
This winding-sheet I wear ;
And cold and weary lasts our night,
Till the last morn appear.
But, hark! the cock has warn'd me hence
A long and late adieu!
Come see, false man! how low she lies
Who died for love of you.' 4
The lark sung loud, the morning smil'd
With beams of rosy red;
Pale William quak'd in every limb,
And, raving, left his bed.
A i&amp;iit.nyvi
$ h»n Kif/.
He hied him to the fatal place
Where Margaret's body lay,
And stretch'd him on the green-grass turf
That wrapt her breathless clay.
m M '- ; miii 19Y Dili?
And thrice he call'd on Margaret's name,
And thrice he wept full sore ;
Then laid his cheek to her cold grave,
And word spake never more.

GO, Y A R R O W

FLOWER,

Go, Yarrow flow'r, thou slialt be blest
To lie on beauteous Marv's breast;

�Go, Yarrow flow'r so sweetly smelling,
Is there on earth so soft a dwelling ?
Go, lovely flow'r, thou prettiest flow'r
That ever smil'd in Yarrow bow'r ;
Go, daughter of the dewy morning,
With Alves' blush the fields adorning.
Go, lovely rose ! what dost thou here,
Ling'ring away thy short-liv'd year,
Vainly shining, idly blooming,
Thy unenjoyed sweets consuming ?
Yain is thy radiant garlies hue,
No hand to pull, no eye to view;
What are thy charms, no heart desiring?
What profits beauty, none admiring.
Go, Yarrow flow'r, to Yarrow maid,
And, on her panting bosom laid,
There, all thy native form confessing;
The charm of beauty is possessing.
Come, Yarrow maid, from Yarrow field;
What pleasure can the desert yield ?
Come to my breast, O! all excelling,
Is there on earth so kind a dwelling ?
Come, my dear maid ? thou prettiest maid
That ever smil'd in Yarrow shade:
Come, sister of the dewy morning,
With Alves' blush the dance adorning.
Come, lovely maid ! love calls thee here ;
Linger no more thy fleeting year,
Vainly shining, idly blooming,
Thy unenjoyed sheets consuming.

�Vain is thy radiant garlies hue,
No hand to press, no eye to view ;
What are thy charms, no heart desiring;
What profits beauty, none admiring ?
Come, Yarrow maid, with Yarrow rose,
Thy maiden graces all disclose;
Come, blest by all, to all a blessing,
The charm of beauty is possessing.

ROBIN AND ANNA.
She listens ; — " 'Tis the wind," she cries ;
The moon, that rose so full and bright,
Is now o'ercast: she looks, she sighs,
She fears 'twill be a stormy night.
Not long was Anna wed. Her mate,
A fisherman, was out at sea ;
The night is dark, the hour is late,
The wind is high—and where is lie?
" Oh ! who would love, Oh ! who would wed
A wandering fisherman, to be
A wretched, lonely wife, and dread
Each breath that blows, when he's at sea ! w
Not long was Anna wed. One pledge
Of tender love her bo*om bore^;
The storm comes down! the billows rage,
Its father is not yet on shore.

�" Oh! who would think her portion bless'd
A wandering seaman's wife to be,
To hug the infant to her breast,
Whose father's on a stormy sea!"
The thunder bursts! the lightning falls !
The easement rattles with the rain,
And, as the gusty tempest bawls,
The little cottage quakes again!—
She doesn't speak ; she doesn't sigh!
She gazes on her infant dear—
A smile lights up the cherub's eye,
Which dims' its mother's with a tear \
" Oh! who would be a seaman's wife!
Oh! who would bear a seaman's child;
To tremble for her husband's life,
To weep—because her infant smil'd!"
Ne'er hadst thou born a seaman's boy—
Ne'er had thy husband left the shore—
Thou ne'er hadst felt the frantic joy,
To see—thy Robin at the door!
To press his weather-beaten cheek,
To kiss it dry and warm again,
To weep the joy thou couldst not speak—
So pleasure's in the debt of pain!
Thy cheerful fire, thy plain repast.
Thy little couch of love I ween,

�8
Were ten times sweeter than the last—*
And not a cloud that night was seen I
A happy pair ; the pains you know,
Still hand in hand with pleasure come ;
For often does the tempest blow,
And Robm still is safe at home.

COULD A M A N BE

SECURE.

Could a. man be secure,
Tba^ his Ufe would, endure As of old for a thousand long &lt;years,
What arts might he know,
What acts might he do,
And all without hurry or care,
But we that ,h ave but span - long lives
The.tfiicke'r must lay on the pleasure')
And since time will not stay,
We'll add the night unto the, day,
And thus well fill the measures.
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                    <text>Four New

SONGS.
Daft Jamie.
The Two Emigrants.
The Lea rig.
Irish hafts for English Blades,

NEWTON-STEWART:
Printed

and Sold, Wholesale and

Retail, by J.

M'Nairn.

�D A F T JAMIE.

O
! dark was the midnight when H
Not
a
star in the sky gave him one cheering ray,
But Still now and then, would the blue lightnings glare,
And some strange cries assail'd him, like shrieks of despair
Over vale, over hill, I will watch thee for ill,
I
But l o ! as the savage run down the wild glen,
For no place did he fear like the dwellings of men,
Where the heath lay before him all dismal and bare,
The ghost of Daft Jamie appeared to him there.
Over vale, &amp;c.
I am come, said the shade, from the land of the dead,
Though there is for Jamie no grass cover'd bed,
Yet I'm come to remind you of deeds that are past,
And to tell you that justice will find you at last.
Over vale, &amp;c.
O ! Hare, thou hast been a dark demon o f blood,
But vengeance shall chace thee o'er field and o'er flood,
Though you fly far away from the dewllings of men,
The shades of thy victims shall rise in thy den.
Over vale, &amp;c.
When night falls on the world, O ! how can you sleep,
In your dreams do you ne'er see my poor mother weep ?
Sadly she wept, but O ! long shall she mourn,
E'er poor wandering Jamie from the grave shall return.
Over vale, &amp;c.

will haunt all thy wanderings and follo

�3
From the grave, did I say, and though calm is the bed,
Where slumber is dreamless, the home of the dead,
Where friends may lament, there sorrow, may he,
Yet no grave rises as green as the world for me.
Over vale, &amp;c.
O ! Harp, go and shelter thy fugitive head,
In some land that is not of the living or dead,
For the living against thee may justly combine,
And the dead must despise such a spirit as thine.
Over vale, &amp;c.
O ! Hare fly away but this world cannot be
The place of abode to a demon like t h e e ,
There is gall in your heart—poison is in your breath,
And the glare of your eyes is as fearful as death.
Over vale, &amp;c.
Then the blue lightnings flash'd through the glen, and
it shone,
And there rose a wild cry, and there heaved a deep groan,
As the Ghost of the innocent boy disappear'd,
But its shreiks down the glen, in the night breeze were
heard.
Over vale, &amp;c.

THE T W O EMIGRANTS,
Clyde's bonny banks are a wet wi' the e'ening dew,
Sweetly the wee birdies chaunt in the wild wood,

�4
Jeanie amang these green fields, by the bonny brew.
Calmly ha'e pass'd a' the days o' our childhood.
Down to this thorny bow'r aft at the gloamin' hour,
Glad ha'e I come frae our cottage to see ye,
Now I am gaun awa soon to America,
O
! will you let your fond Emigrant leave you ?
Follow me, follow me, love wilt thou follow me,
Lang ha'e I woo'd thee and lov'd thee sincerely,
Come then my lassie braw, come tae America,
Fair is our hame, on the banks of Loch E r i e .
Blissful and calm shall our days aye unskaithed be,
Puirtith shall ne'er mak enjoyment grow weary,
Walth shall we ha'e, for a frien' has bequeathed to me,
Braw bonny lands on the banks of the Erie.
Groves of the maple tree orange and apple tree,
Fields o' the sugar cane, grow for my dearie,
Trees of the bonny vine rich with the rosy wine,
Bloom fur us love, on the banks of Loch Erie.
Follow me, &amp;c.
O ! e'er the beams o' anither day's setting sun,
Redden the tops o' yon blue Highland mountains,
Fareweel I maun bid to my country, O ! Caledon,
Peace to thy, streams and thy clear siller fountains.
Caledon! Caledon ! land of the brave that's gone,
Lang on thy fields were thy sons victorious,
Country of hill and glen, laid of the brightest men,
O! be thou independant and glorious.
Follow me, &amp;c.

�5
Scotland, clear ! land of my fore-father's fare thee-well,
Wallace and Bruce were the sons of thy bravery,
Fam'd Bannockburn, and many a red battle-field,
Tell that a grave was mair welcome than slavery,
Bold as the stormy seas, free as the mountain breeze,
Rush'd thy old heros to battle fu' cheery,
O ! I shall lo'e thee still, land of the heathy hill,
Still shall thy; Emigrant fondly revere thee.
Follow me, &amp;c.
O ! my dear Jeanie, just say you will come awa,
Comewi'your Willie, there's naething to fear ye,
Tho' dear to your bosom be your own father's ha',
None like your Willie can lo'e ye so dearly,
With thee, my sweet treasure, life maun be a pleasure.
The toils of this warld will ne'er make me weary,
Then O ! leave your native vale, let the Atlantic gale,
Waft us awa to the banks o' Loch Erie.
Follow me, &amp;c.
Jeanie look'd round wi' a sigh on her native land,
Bright to her red rosy cheeks came the tear aye,
Willie, she says, and she gied him her lillie hand,
Tak me awa to the banks o' Loch Erie.
Faiens o' my father's ha' though I revere ye a'.
Braid though the sea is, and trackless and dreary,
Fare ye weel ane and a' friens o' my father's ha',
I'll gang wi' Willie awa to Loch Erie.
Follow thee, follow thee, lad I will follow thee,
Lang hae I lo'ed thee, my Willie sincerely,
Gang then, my laddie braw, gang to America,
Thy hame shall be my hame, awa at Loch Erie.

�6
I R I S H H A F T S FOR E N G L I S H B L A D E S
All you who delight in a comical jest,
Now I will tell you , one you may add to the rest,
Which happened of late near the town of Carlisle,
I'm sure when you hear it, it will cause you to smile.
The first of last april I cannot forget.
When three English blades for pleasure were met,
They mounted their horses and swore solemnly,
That they, would play trick on the first man they'd see.
One Campbell a drover they chanced to spy,
He came from Tyrone near a town called Fermoy,
They saluted Campbell and he did the same,
So in close conversation together they came.
They came to an Inn where they made a full stop,
And ask'd Paddy in with them for to take a drop,
Then Campbell consented, and said with a smile,
I would like well to taste your strong ale of Carlisle.'
They gave up their horses in charge to the groom,
And then stepped into a well-furnish'd room,
It being in the morning between eight and nine,
They called for a breakfast and after that wine.
They sat and they drank, and they sported at will,
Until they had twenty-four shillings of a bill,
And four of their horses for oats and for hay,
But they thought they'd leave Pat the reckoning to pay.
So then one by oneoneoutof the door they stole,
A n d left Campbell there to pay for the whole,

�7
The landlord came inrwith a smile and thus said,
I think Pat you're trick'd by the English blades.
On the first of April it is always a rule,
For the one man to' make the other a fool,
When I saw you sitting in their company,
I knew these blades would play a trick upon thee.
Never mind then says Pat, since they are gone away,
I have plenty of money the reckoning to pay,
Come sit you down by me before I do go,
I will tell you a secret perhaps you don't know.
I will show you a trick though contrary to law,
How two kinds of drink from one vessel to draw;
The landlord being eager to find out this plan,
lt's down to the cellar with Paddy he ran.
Pat bored a hole in a very short space,
And bad the landlord clap his hand on that place.
The second he bore, saying place the other there,
For I for a tumbler must go up the stair.
He went up to the room I will give you to know t,
And there he with chalk on the table thus wrote,
With two sorts of liquor the reckoning I've paid,
That's an Irish haft for your English blades.
He mounted his horse and was soon out of sight,
The waiter went in to see if all was right,
And search'd the house from the top to the ground,
Half dead inthecellar his master he found.
O, what is the matter, dear master, he said,
He says, Irish Paddy a trick on me played,
i ' v e both hands engaged, I'm hubbled you see,
I thought to fool Pat, but he has out-witted me.

�T H E LEA RIG.
When o'er-the hill the eastern star,
Tells bughtin-time is near, my j o e ;
And owsen frae the furrowed field,
Return sae dowf and weary O ;
Down by the burn, where scented birks
Wi' dew are hanging clear, my joe,
I'll meet thee on the lea-rig,
My ain kind dearie O.
In mirkest glen, at midnight hour,
I'd rove and ne'er be eerie O,
If through that glen I gade to thee,
My ain kind dearie O.
Although the night was e'er sae wild,
And I were ne'er sae weary O,
I'd meet thee on the lea-rig,
My ain kind deaeie O.
The huntes loes the morning sun,
To rouse the mountain deer, my joe ;
At noon the fisher seeks the glen,
Alang the burn to steer, my joe ;
Gie me the hour o' gloaming gray,
It maks my heart sae cheery O
To meet thee on the lea-rig,
My ain kind dearie O

�</text>
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                    <text>No. 4.

Four

New

SONGS.
William Burke.
The Wind blew the Bonny Lassie's
Plaidy awa.
Great need of a Wife.
Logan Braes.

NEWTON-STEWART .
Printed and Sold, Wholesale and
Retail, by J.
M'Nairn.

�2

WILLIAM

BURKE.

O
Burke, cruel man, how detested thy name is
T h y dark deeds of blood are a stain on our times
O savage, relentless, forever infamous,
Long, long will the world remember thy crimes.
Thrice ten human beings, weep all you who hear it,
Wore caught in his snares, and destroy'd in his den
The shades of thy victims may chide thy vile spirit,
O Burke cruel monster thou basest of men.
The weary, the old and the way faring stranger,
Were woo'd by his kindness and led to his door,
But little knew they that the path led to danger,
O little knew they that their wanderings were o'er.
little knew they that the beams of the morning,
To wake them to brightness, would shine all in vain,
And little their friend knew, who watched their returning
That they were ne'er more to return back again.
O gather the bones of the murderd together,
And gave them a grave in some home of the dead,
That their poor weeping friends with sad hearts may go
thither,
And shed tears of sorrow above their cold bed.
Ye great men of learning, ye fiends of dissection,
Who travell'd thro' blood to the temple of gain,
And bought human life for your hateful inspection,
O give the poor friends the white bones of the slain.

�3

But woe to the riches and skill thus obtained,
Woe to the wretch that would injure the dead.
And woe to his portion whose fingers are stained
With the red drops of life that he cruely shed.
Tho' Burke has been doom'd to expire on the gallows,
The vilest that ever dishonoured the tree,
Yet some may survive him whose hearts are as callous,
O, who will be safe if the tigers be free.
Let none e'er reside in the crime marked dwellings,
For ever disgraced by Burke and by Hare,
May the cold damp of horror lie dark on their ceilings.
And their pale ghastly walls still be dismal and bare.
Let their guilt and their gloom speak of nothing but terror.
Some dark deeds of blood to the stranger declare;
And ages to come ever mark them with horror,
f o r the ghosts of the murdered will still gather there,

T H E W I N D B L E W T H E BONNY LASSIE'S
PLAIDY AWA.
Brave flesher Rab that lived in Crief,
A bonny bonny lassie came to buy some beef,
He took her in his arms and down she did fa'
And the wind blew the bonny lassies plaidy awa'
Her plaidy awa' her plaidy awa,
The wind blew the bonny lassie's plaidy awa,

�4

He took her in his arms and down she did fa'
And the wind blew the bonny lassie's plaidy awa.
The piaidy was lost and cculdna be found,
The deil's in the plaid it's awa wi' the wun'
But what shall I say to the auld folks ava,
Idaurnasay the wind blew the plaidy awa.
It was no lang after the plaidy was lost.
Till the bonny bonny laesie grew thick in the waist,
And Raby was blamed for the hale of it a',
And the wind blawing the bonny lassie's plaidy awa.
Then Rabby was summoned to answer the session.
They a' cryed out ye maun mak' a confession,
But Rabby ne'er answered them ae word ava,
But the wind blew the bonny lassie's plaidy awa.
The auld wife came in poor Rabby to accuse.
The ministers and elders began to abuse
Poor Rabby for trying to make ane into twa,
But Rabby said the wind blew the plaidy awa,
The lassie was sent for to come there hresel,
She looked in his face says ye ken how i fell,
And ye had the cause o't ye daurna say na,
Twas then that the wind blew the plaidy awa.
Rab looks in her face and gead a bit smile,
He says my bonny lassie I winna you beguile,

�5

The minister is here he'll mak' o' us twa.
That will pay the plaid that the wind blew awa.
The whisky was sent for to mak' a' things right
The Minister and Elders they sat a' the night,
And lang before the cock began for to craw,
The wind blew the bonny lassie's plaidy aw a.
Now Rab and his lassie are joined hand in hand,
They live as contented as ony in the land,
And when he gets fu' he minds o' the fa'
And sings the wind blew the bonny lassie's plaidy awa.

G R E A T N E E D OF A W I F E .
Lassie, I'm in need of a wife,
And place a good one in her stead.
I do weary myself every day,
A travelling from day light till gloaming,
Lassies I'm greatly astray,
The way to find out a good woman,
I fear there is few to he had.
I dont wish for one that has gold,
Nor one that was brought up in a city.

I
I

had

one, but no
mean for

�6

I never will marry a scold,
Nor one who does think herself pretty.
For a beauty's infected with pride,
And a scolding wife is a heart-breaking,
Before to a scold I'd be tied,
I'd suffer with bugs to be eaten,
For jarring I cannot abide.
I don't wish to wed one that's young,
For fear she would crown me with horns,
To take one that's both deaf and dumb,
Would be a worse plague than the corns.
I'll not take a wife that is tall,
Nor one that's posscss'd of great riches,
A wee wife's the worst one of all,
Because she would contend for the breeches,
O, that would soon shorten my days
I never will marry a lass,
That's given too, much unto pleasure,
Nor one that too fond of a glass,
Who throws up the finger at leisure,
The one to work would not incline,
Still rigging herself in the fashion,
D o but keep the other from wine,
You'll see how she will fly in a passion,
Her temper the de'il could not bear.
I would like for to wed an old maid,
Whose age is about six and twenty,
But I cannot find one I'm afraid,
For now-a-days they're very scanty,

!

�7

A widow I never will take,
I'll tell you what is my objection,
Because that my heart she would break,
Telling me of her husband's perfections,
So none of your widows for me.
King Solomon, though he was wise,
It's women they proved his undoing,
And Samson the strong man likewise,
Deliah she proved his ruin,
My song it is nearly done,
, I'll take a wee drop of the bottle,
And women I'll take in their turn,
As once did the famed Aristotle,
Who knew more of women than me.

O Logan, sweetly didst thou glide
That day I was my Willie's bride ;
And years sinsyne have o'er us run,
Like Logan to the simmer sun.
But now thy flowery banks appear,
Like drumlie winter, dark and drear,
While my clear lad maun face his faes,
Far, far frae me and Logan braes.

�Again the merry mounth o' May
Have made our hill and valleys gay ;
The birds rejoice in leafy bowers,
The bees ham round the breathing flowers
Blythe morning lifts his rosy eye,
And e'ening's tears are tears of j o y :
My soul delightless a' surveys,
While Willie's far frae Logan braes.
Within yon milk white hawthorn bush,
Amang her nestlings sits the thrush ;
Her faithfu' mate will share her toil,
Or wi' his song her cares beguile:
But I, wi' my sweet nurselings here,
Nae mate to help, nae mate to cheer,
Pass widow'd nights and joyless days,
While Willie's far frae Logan braes.
O wae upon you men o' state,
That brethren rouse to deadly hate !
As ye make mony a fond heart mourn,
Sae may it on your heads return
!
How can your flinty hearts enjoy
The widow's tears, the orphan's cry ?
But soon may peace bring happy days,
And Willie hame to Logan braes.

�</text>
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                    <text>FOUR POPULAR

Songs:

Viz.

Oh! waes me for Prince
CHARLEY.
The Highland Laddie.

TWA-SCORE-AND-TWA.
Hey Johnny Cope.

R.

Taylor, Printer, Falkirk.

�o h ! W A E S meFORP R I N C E CHARLEY.
A wee bird cam' to our ha' door.
He warbled sweet and clearly;
And ay the oure come o' his sang
Was "waes me for Prince Charley."
Oh ! when I heard the bonny bird,
The tears cam' rappin' rarely,
I took the bannet aff my head,
For weel I lo'ed Prince Charley.
Quo I, my bird, my bonnie bonnie bird,
Is that a sang ye borrow;
Are thae some words ye've learnt by rote.
Or a lilt o' dool an' sorrow?
Ah no ! no ! no! the wee bird sang,
I've flown syne mornin' early.
But sic a day o' win' an' rair !—
O h ! waes me for Prince Charley.
Dark night cam' on, the tempest roar'd,
Loud oure the hills an' vallies,
An' whare was't that your Prince lay down,
Whase hame should been a palace?
He row'd fa in in a highland plaid,
That cover'd him but sparely,
An' lingit 'neath a bush o' broom,--Ok I waes me for Prince Charley.

�On hills that are by right his ain,
He roves a lanely stranger,
On ev'ry side, he's prest by want,
On, ev'ry side is danger.
Yestreen, I met him in a glen,
My heart maist burstit fairly,
For sadly changed indeed was he--Oh ! waes me for Prince Charley.
But now the bird saw some red coats,
An' sheuk his winks wi' anger,
Oh ! this is no a land for me,
I'll tarry here nae langer.
He hover'd on the wing a while,
E'er he deprrted fairly;
But weel I min' the farewell strain,
Was "Waes me for Prince Charley.

THE HIGHLAND LADDIE,
Geordie sits in Charlie's chair,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie;
De'i' tak' him gin he sit there,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie!
Charlie yet shall mount the throne,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie;
Weel he kens it is his ain,

My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.

�4
Weary fa' the Lawland loon.
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
My bonny laddie Highladd laddie ;
But weel's me on the kiltit clans,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie.,
That fought for him at Prestonpas,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
Ken ye the news I hae to tell,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie?
Cumberland's awa to hell,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
When he came to the Stygian shore, ;
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie;
The de'il himself wi' fright did roar,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
Then Charon grim, came out to him,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
Ye're welcome here ye devil's limb.
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
They pat on him a philabeg,
Bonny laddie Highland laddie,
And in his doup they ca'd a peg.
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
How he did skip, and he did roar,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
The de'ils ne'er saw sic sport before,
My bonny laddie Highland laddie,

�They took him neist toSatan'sha',
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
Toliltitwi'hisgrandpapa,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
The de'il sat girnin in the neuk,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
Riving stiks to roast the duke,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
They pat him neist upon a spit,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
And roasted him baith head and feet,
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
Wi' scalding brimstane and wi' fat,
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
They flamed his carcass weel wi' that!
My bonny laddie, Highland laddie.
They ate him up baith stoop and roop!
Bonny laddie, Highland laddie;
And that's the gate they served the duke!
M y bonny laddie, Highland laddie,
TWA-SCORE-AND-TWA
Brave, brave and valiant are they,
Brave and valiant every man,
There are but few that stands sae true
As Highland heroes to their clan.
The Alies hae been brave o' late,
Though Boney took thegreeawa;

�6
But now his chosen troops are beat,
And slain by our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave, brave, &amp;c.
To Egypt's plain proud Monsieur went,
And there awhile fu' crouse did craw,
But soon he had to scour the bent
When he met our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave, brave, &amp;c.
Their tartan plaids, their bonnets blue,
There black cockades, sae trig and braw;
Quo' he, their Turks, at the first veiw,
But found them our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave brave, &amp;c.
At Corunna they met again,
Where our brave General Moore did fa',
But soon they had to leave the plain,
When charged by our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave, brave, &amp;c.
They met again at Waterloo,
A e morn e're day began to daw,
And in confusion there they flew.
When charged by our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave, brave, &amp;c.
So bravely as they took the field,
And aye sae fast the French did fa'.

�7
That Boney thought the very deil
Had entered our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave, brave,&amp;c.
His proud evincibles were there,
Wha' vainly thought to conquer a',
But soon they fell to rise nae mair,
Wha' can forstan' our forty-twa.
Brave, brave, &amp;c.
May Scotia ne'er Want sons anew,
Her enemies pows to crack and claw;
And now we'll drink wi'bumpkersfu',
Sucess to our twa-score-and-twa.
Brave, brave, &amp;c.
JOHNNY COPE.
Cope sent a letter frae Dunbar,
Charlie meet me an ye dare,
And I'll learn you the art of war
If you'll meet wi' me in the morning;
Hey Johnny Cope are you waking
If ye were a-waking I would wait,
When Charlie look'd the letter upon,
He drew his sword the scabbard from,
Come follow me my merry men.
And we'll meet Johnny Cope i' the mornin'.

O
To

�word,

How Johnnie be as good's your
Come let us try both fire and sword,
And dinna rin awa like, a frighted bird,
That's chas'd frae its nest i' the mornin'.
When Johnny Cope he heard of this,
He thought it wadna be amiss,
To hae a horse in readiness.
To flee awa' i' the morning,
Fy, now Johnny get up and rin.
The Highland bag-pipes make a din,
'Tis best to sleep in a hale skin,
For 'twill be a bloody morning, &amp;c.
When Johnny Cope to Berwick came,
They spea'd at him where are your men.
The de'il' confound me gin I ken,
For I left them a' i' the morning, &amp;c.
Now Johnny, troth ye was nae blate,
' To come wi' the news o' youraindefeat,
And leave your men in sic a strait,
So early in the morning, &amp;c.
A h ! faith quo' Johnny, I got a flegp
Wi' their claymores and philabegs,
If I face them again de'il break my legs,
So I wish yon all a good morning.
Hey Johnny Cope, &amp;c.

FINIS. .

�</text>
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                    <text>FOUR

Popular Songs.
R O G E R AND N E L L Y .
G A B TAR* Y O U R A U L D CLOAK ABOUT Y E .
A LASSIE L I V E S B Y Y O N D E R BURN.
LOW DOWN IN T H E BROOM.

GLASGOW: ,
PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS.
i l

�fl'IO1®

M. B

.

v

f r r r r

•

SONGS
—

—

—

—

-

1

TAK* YOUR A^TLtt CLOAK ABOUT YE,
In winter when the rain rain'd caulcl,
And frost and snaw on ilka Kill,
And Boreas, with his blast sae baulcj.
Was threatening a' our kyrto kill.
Then Bell, my wife, wha lo'es nae strife,
She said to me right hastily,
Get up, goodman, save Crummie's life.
And tak' your auid cloak about ye.
My Cruminie is a useful cow,
And she is come of a good kin'.
Aft has she wet the bairns' mou\
And I am laith that she should tyne ;
Get up, goodlnan, it is fu* time,
The sun shines frae the lift sae hie,
Sloth never made a gracious end,
Go tak* your auld cloak about ye.
My cloak was ance a guid grey cloak,
And fitting for my wear ;
But now it's scantlv worth a groat,
For I've worn't this thretty year,
s m a L u a a a o e a -J^T
Twai
n

�3
Let's spend the gear that we hae won*
We little ken the day we'll die :
Then I'll be proud, since I hae sworn*
To bae a new cloak about, me.
Jsrf^d aHwmow tiuiww &gt;d oJ j fguoV!
in days when our King Robert rang,
His trews they cost but lialf-a-ci;own ;
He said they were a groat too dear,
And ca'd the tailor thief and loon.
He was the king that wore a crown,
And thou a man of laigh degree ;
Tis pride puts a' the country down,
Sae tak your auld cloak about ye.
Every land has its ain burgh,
Ilka kind o' corn has its ain liool;
I think the world has a' gane daft,
When ilka wife her man wad rule.
Do you not see Bab, Jock, and Hab,
How they are girded galiantlie,
While I sit hurklen in the ase ;
I'll hae a new cloak about me.
Goodman, I wat it's thretty year
Since we did ane anither ken;
And we hae had between us twa,
Of lads and bonny lasses ten.
Now they are women grown and men,
I wish and pray weel may they be;
And why wilt thou myseV misken?
E'en tak your auld cloak about ye.

�, &amp; j jC M i M M I
Mj *^ M M
gM
\

4
Bel! my wife, she lo'es nae strife.
But she wad guide me if sli6 can ;
And to maintain an easy life,
I oft maun yield, tho' T m goodman.
Nought's to be won at woman's hand,
Unless ye gi'e her a' the plea;
.Safe I'll leave aff where I began,
And tak my auld cloak about me.

LOW DOWN IN THE BROOM.
My daddie is a canker'd carle,
He'll no twin wi' his gear,
My mither she's a scolding wife,
Hands a' the house a steer.
But let them say, or let them do,
It's a' ane to me,
For he's low down, he's in the broom
That's waiting on me ;
Waiting on me, my love,
He's waiting on me ;
For he's low down, he's in the broom
That's waiting on me.
My auntie Kate sits at her wheel,
And sair she lightlies me,
But weel I ken it's a' envy,
For ne'er a joe has she.
But let them say, &amp;c.

•

�My cousin Kate was sair beguil'd
With Johnnie in the gleii ;
And aye since syne she cries, beware
Q* false, deluding men.
But let them say, &amp;e.
Gleed Sandy he cam wast ae night,
And spier'd when I saw Pate ?
And aye since syne the neighbours round
They jeer me ear' and late.
But let them say, or let them do,
It's a' tine to me,
For I'll gae to the bonny lad
That's waiting on me ;
Waiting on me, my love,
He's waiting on me ;
For he's low down, he's in the broom
That's waiting on me.

ROGER AND NELLY.
'Twas in the prime of summer time,
Quite pleasing was the weather,
Young Roger would a wooing go,
By the consent of his mother ;
So he was drest all in his best.
Quite smart without a wrinkle,
A rusty sword down by his side,
Tied on with beggars inkle.

�6
Then Roger call'd to his man John,
Go fetch me out odd Dobbin,
Comb out his mane, cock up his tail,
That it may not hang bobbing.
With a saddle-tree bound down with hay,
Which is a thing so proper,
And a patten ring, tied in a string
Of linsey-wolsey cropper
*
Then Roger to his chest would go
Straightway to unlock it,
Three halfpence of old Irish coin
He put into his pocket.
With the bridle best, pick'd from the rest,
Which he had for a,stirrup ;
A besom stick he had for a whip,
With half a yard of cart-rope.
Then Roger rose and took the road,
They took him for a 'torney,
With his pistol long, it was well load,
For fear he should be robbed ;
And every little while he said,
Come mend your pace, old Dobbin;
Should night o'ercast we'll lose our road,
Then let us both keep joggin'.
Then Roger to the town did go,
For his doxy to inquire ;
Making a rout he found hereout,
JSText door to the town-crier.

�7
Then he s^id to his dear Nell,
Let us in wedlock join,;
But first tell me thy fortune.
And then I'll tell thee mine.
*

I have a box without a top,
A spade without a handle,
A pepper box, an old cart rope,
And half a farthing candle;
A washing tub, a pewther dish.,
A pestle and a mortar,
A leathern bucket old and good,
'Twill serve us years in future.
'
. M erit * too cpb miU VI
Besides, says she, it is well known
I have great store of linen,
Full forty yards of hemp and yarn,
And all "of my own spinning.
0 then, says Roger, it's well known
I've Dobbin in the stable*
A pig, a calf, a crown and half,
And a rare old kitchen table.
'.oibfiifu ' mi T»f ffo'i haA
Besides, says he, I have a house,
Fetches fifteen-pence a quarter,
An old bedstead without a head,
And a pot to catch your water.
Come, said he, my dear sweet Nell,
Let us to church be jogging ;
With all my heart, I'll say my part.
Go fetch me out old Dobbin.

�8
So then to church they did repair,
And in wedlock's bands were joined ;
When all was o'er, to bed they went,
And now their toils are ended.

A LASSIE LIVES BY YONDER BURN.
A lassie lives by yonder burn
That jinks about the seggins,
There aft she gi'es her sheep a turn,
To feed amang the brakens.
Could I believe she'd woo wi' me,
In spite of mam or daddie,
I'd aften slip out owre the lea,
An' row her in my plaidie.
Her breast to busk I'd violets pu?
That blaw aboon the boggie,
And blue bells hingin' wat wi' dew
Frae yonder glen sae foggie.
Could I believe she'd woo wi* mef
An' tak me for her laddie,
I'd aften slip out owre the lea,
And row her in my plaidie.
I maun awa, I canna stay,
Should a* gang tapsalteerie ;
Should bogles meet me in the way,
This night I'll see my dearie.
I'll ben the spence and dress a-wee,
Wi' knots and buglits fu' gaudy,
For I canna rest until I see
Gin she'll come in my plaidie.

�</text>
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                    <text>FOUR

Scottish Songs.
The Haughs of Cromdale.
Battle of the Nile,
Despairing Mary.
I'll aye ca' in by yon town.

FALKIRK:
PRINTED FOR THE B O O K S E L L E R S .

�SONGS.

Haughs of Cromdale.
A s I c a m e in b y A u c h i n d o w n ,
A little w e e bit frae the t o w n ,
U n t o the Highlands I was b o u n d ,
T o view the Haughs o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, D a n d y didle, faty fidle,
H e u c h an' d o o d l e , fidle fadle,
U n t o the Highlands I was b o u n d ,
T o view the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
I met a man in tartan trews,
I spiered at him what was the news,
Said he, the Highland army rues,
T h a t e'er they c a m e to C r o m d a l e .
Sing, dandy didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .
T h e y w e r e in b e d sure e v e r y man,
W h e n the E n g l i s h host upon them c a m e ,
A b l o o d y blattle soon b e g a n
U p o n theH a u g h sofCromdale.
S i n g , dandy didle, fatty fidle, &amp;c.
T h e Englishhorsetheweresorude
T h e ybath'dtheirhoofsinHighlandblood,

�For our n o b l e clans they b o l d l y s t o o d ,
U p o n the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, dandy didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .
Our n o b l e clans t h e y c o u l d n o t stay,
Out o'er the hills tHey ran a w a y ,
A n d sore they d o lament the d a y ,
That e'er they came to C r o m d a l e .
Sing, dandy didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .
Says great M o n t r o s e , I must not stay,
W i l t thou direct the nearest w a y .
O u t o'er the hills I'll g o this d a y ,
A n d see the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, d a n d y didle, faty fidle, &amp;c.
A l a s ! my L o r d , y o u are not strong,
Y o u s c a r c e l y have two thousand m e n ,
A n d there's twenty thousand on the plain,
L i e s rank and file on C r o m d a l e .
Sing, d a n d y didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .
Says great M o n t r o s e , I will not stay,
So d i r e c t m e the nearest w a y
Out o'er the hills I'll g o this d a y ,
A n d to the H a u g h s of C r o m d a l e .
Sing d a n d y didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .
They were at dinner every man,
When g r e a t M o n t r o s e upon them c a m ,
A s e c o n d battle there b e g a n ,
U p o n the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
S i n g , dandy didle, faty fidle, &amp;c.

�4
T h e M ' D o n a l d s they r e t u r n e d again,
T h e C a m e r o n s did their standard j o i n ,
M'Intoshes play'd a b o n n y game
U p o n the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
S i n g , d a n d y didle, faty fldle, &amp;c.
M ' P h e r s o n s f o u g h t like lions b o l d ,
M ' G r e g o r s n o n e c o u l d them c o n t r o u l ,
M ' L a c h l a n s f o u g h t with valiant soul,
U p o n the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, dandy d i d l e , faty fidle,
M ' L e a n s , M ' D o u g a i s , and M ' N e a l s ,
S o b o l d l y as they t o o k the field,
A n d m a d e their enemies to y i e l d ,
U p o n the Haughs o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, dandy d i d l e , faty i d l e ,
T h e G o r d o n s b o l d l y did a d v a n c e ,
T h e Frazers f o u g h t with sword and lance,
T h e Grahams did make their heads to dance
U p o n the H a u g h s o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, dandy didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .
T h e royal Stuarts and M o n t r o s e ,
S o b o l d l y did e n g a g e their f o e s ,
A n d b r o u g h t them d o w n b y bandy b l o w s ,
U p o n the Haighs of C r o m d a l e .
Sing, d a n d y didle, faty fidle, &amp;c.
O u t o f twenty thousand Englishmen,
Five hundred fled t o A b e r d e e n ,

�The rest o f them all lay slain,
Upon the Haughs o f C r o m d a l e .
Sing, d a n d y didle, faty fidle, &amp; c .

' T W A S on the f o r e n o o n , the first day o f August,
One thousand seven hundred and n i n e t y - e i g h t ,
W e had a long pursuit after the T o u l e n fleet,
And soon w e let them k n o w that we c a m e to
fight,
We tried their skill, it was sore against their will,
They k n e w not what t o think of our fleet for a
while,
But b e f o r e the f r a y b e g a n , we resolved t o a man,
For t o c o n q u e r or t o die at the mouth o f the N i l e .
W h e n o u r guns b e g a n to play, with many a loud
huzza,
Resolving to c o n q u e r , or die like a man,
And when our sails were b e n d i n g , O l d E n g l a n d
was d e p e n d i n g ,
Waiting our return f r o m the M e d i t e r r a n e a n .
Our b u l l - d o g s they did roar, &amp; into them did pour,
With rattling broadsides m a d e brave Nelson to
smile.
Gallant Nelson g a v e c o m m a n d , although he'd but
o n e hand,
British sailor's j u m p ' d f o r j o y at the m o u t h o f the
Nile.

�6
Night drew on w e f o r m e d a plan,
T o set fire to o n e h u n d r e d and twenty guns,
W e selected them with skill, and into them drill,
W e s e c u r e d all our shipping, and laughed at the
fun,
A b o u t ten o ' c l o c k at night it was a broiling sight,
W h i c h caused us to m u z z l e our b u l l - d o g s for a
while,
The L'Orient
u p l a n d , round went the pup,
T o the g l o r i o u s m e m o r a n d u m at the mouth of
the Nile.
K i n d P r o v i d e n c e p r o t e c t e d us e a c h minute o f the
night,
It's m o r e than t o n g u e can tell, or y e t a pen to
write,
For ' m o n g s t the j o l l y tars, brave Nelson g o t a scar,
But P r o v i d e n c e p r o t e c t e d him through that cruel
fight.
T h e T r e n c h may repine, w e t o o k nine sail of the
line,
Burnt and sunk all but two, which e s c a p e d for a
Brave Nelson g a v e c o m m a n d , although, h e ' d but
o n e hand,
British sailors f o u g h t like lions at the mouth of
the Nile.
B u t n o w the battle's o'er, and T o u l o n fleet's no
more,
G r e a t news we shall send unto G e o r g e our King,
All the k i n g d o m s in E u r o p e will j o i n us in chorus,

�7
The bells t h e y shall r i n g , a n d b o n e f i r e s t h e y shall
blaze,
Rule Britannia shall b e s u n g t h r o u g h c o u n t r y a n d
town,
While sailors h a n d in hand r o u n d the c a n d o t h s i n g
Buonaparte g o t t h e p l e d g e o f E g y p t for his w a g e ,
And he'll ne'er f o r g e t b o l d N e l s o n at the
o f the Nile.

Despairing Mary,
MARY, w h y thus waste thy

y o u t h time, in

See a' around, y o u t h e flow'rs s w e e t l y b l a w ;
Blythe sets the sun o ' e r the wild cliffs o f Jura,
Blythe sings the mavis on ilka g r e e n s h a w .
" H o w c a n this heart e v e r think mair o f p l e a s u r e ,
S u m m e r m a y smile, b u t d e l i g h t I HA'E n a n e :
Cauld in the g r a v e lies m y heart's o n l y treasure,
Nature s e e m s d e a d s i n c e m y J a m i e is g a n e .
"
This ' k e r c h i e f h e g a v e m e , a true l o v e r ' s t o k e n ,
Dear, d e a r t o m e was t h e
f o r his sake !
I wear't near m y heart, b u t this p o o r heart is
broken,
H o p e d i e d with J a m i e , and l e f t it to b r e a k .
Sighing f o r h i m , I lie d o w n in t h e e ' e n i n g ;
Sighing for h i m , I w a k e inthemorn;
Spent are m y d a y sa'insecretrepining,
Peace to this b o s o m c a n n e v e r return.

mouth

�" O f t have we wander'd in sweetest retirement,
Telling our loves 'neath the m o o n s silent beam,
S w e e t were our meetings o f tender endearment,
But fled are these j o y s like a fleet-passing dream
Cruel r e m e m b r a n c e , ah ! why wilt thou wreck me,
Brooding o'er j o y s that for ever are flown !
Cruel r e m e m b r a n c e in pity forsake m e ,
Flee to s o m e b o s o m where g r i e f is unknown!"

I'll aye ca' in by yon town.
I'LL ay ca' in b y y o n town,
And by y o n g a r d e n g r e e n again ;
I'll ay ca' in by y o n town,
A n d see my b o n n y Jean again.
T h e r e ' s nane shall ken, there's nane shall guess,
W h a t brings m e b a c k the gate again,
But she, my fairest faithfu' lass,
A n d stowlins we shallmeetagain.
She'll wander by the aiken tree,
W h e n trystin - t i m e Crews near again ;
A n d when her lovely form I see,
O haith, she's d o u b l y dear again !
I'll ay c a ' in b y y o n town,
A n d b y y o n garden green a g a i n ;
I'll ay ca' in b y y o n t o w n ,
A n d see m y b o n n y Jean again.

�</text>
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                    <text>FOUR SONGS
CHERRY-CHEEKED PATTY.
JUDY O'FLANNIKIN.
NO PEACE ABOUT THE HOUSE.
MAGGIE LAUDER.

GLASGOW:
PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS.

68.

�SONGS.

CHERRY-CHEEKED PATTY.
Down in yon vale I lives so snug,
Thev call me Giles the ploughman's boy;
At the sound of the horn
I rise in the morn,
And I whittle, I whistle, and whoop gee wo I cry*
My work being done, to the lawn then* I fly,
Where the lads and the lasses all look very sly
And I'ze deeply in love with a girl, it is true,
'Cause I knows what I knows, but I munna tell you;
Then I'll whistle, I'll whistle, and of all the girls I ever
did see,
Oh ! cherry-cheeked Patty for me.
The squire, though so great, so happy mayn't be
As simple Giles, the ploughman's boy;
At the sound of the horn
I rise in t ie morn,
And I whistle, I whistle, and whoop gee wo I cry;
There's cherry-cheeked Patty, who lives in the vale,
That I help o'er the stile with her milking-pail,
And she has a right notion of me, it is true,
'Cause I knows, &amp;c.

�3
So able and strong, and willing to work,
And when the lark rises, off trudge I ;
At the sound of the horn
I rise in the morn,
And I whistle, I whistle, and whoop gee wo I cry.
There's the lord of the valley, he tries in vain,
And does all he can my Patty to gain,
Let him do what he will, it never will do,
'Cause I knows, &amp;c.
My Patty consented next week to be
The wife of Giles the ploughman's boy;
Then my cows up I'll call,
And I'll harness old Ball,
And I'll whistle, I'll whistle, and whoop gee wo I'll cry.
And when from the church we do trip it away,
Along with the old ones we'll spend the whole day,
But night coming on, we'll bid them adieu,
'Cause I knows, &amp;c.

JUDY O'FLANNIKIN.
O whack ! Cupid's a mannikin,
Smack on my back he hit me a polter,
Good lack! Judy O'Flannikin,
Dearly she loves neat Looney Mactwolter.
Judy's my darling, my kisses she suffers,
She's an heiress, that's clear,
For her father sells beer,
He keeps the sign of the Cow and the Snuffers.

�4
She's so smart,
From my heart,
I cannot bolt her,
Oh whack, Judy O'Flannikin !
She is the girl for Looney Mactwolter.
Ochone! good news I need a bit,
We'd correspond, but learning would choke her,
Mavrone! I cannot read a bit,
Judy can't tell a pen from a proker.
Judy's so constant, I'll never forsake her,
She's as true as the moon,
Only one afternoon
I caught her asleep with a hump-back'd shoemaker.
Oh! she's so smart,
From my heart
I cannot bolt her,
Oh, whack! Judy O'Flannikin!
She is the girl for Looney Mactwolter

NO PEACE ABOUT THE HOUSE.
There is no peace about the house,
In kitchen, parlour, hall,
There is no comfort in the house
On Saturday at all.
Where'er you turn, a noise assails
Brushes, brooms and mops,
Besides a host of pans and pails,
For various stinking slops.

�5
Then there's rubbing, scrubbing, tearing, swearing, echoing every way;—
Of all the days throughout the week, the worst is
Saturday.
Hark, is that dread thunder near ?
Or noisy drum and fife ?
Oh no, the music that I hear
Is charwoman and wife;
Both laughing, scolding, talking, singing,
'Gad, there's such a din.
That all Babel's workmen ringing,
Conquer'd must give in—
To their rubbing, scrubbing, tearing, swearing, echoing
every way,—
Of all the days within the week, the worst is Saturday.
In apron blue, now comes your belle,
And gown well stored with holes ;
For colour, it might passing well
Claim kindred with the coals.
Then she says, ' You know, my dear,
Some make their husbands rue,
By taking their good clothes to wear,
When any thing will do,
For their scrubbing, rubbing, tearing, wearing/ O, curse
them all, I say,—
Of all the days throughout the week, the worst is Saturday.
Begrimed with dust, with dirt and grease,
She now sits down to dine;

�6
At banyan day, of bread and cheese
You must not now repine;
Your goods and chattels now displaced,
All in confusion stand;
Some are broke, and some defac'd,
By each destructive hand,
With their rubbing, scrubbing tearing, swearing, sounding every way,—
Of all the days that's in the week, the worst is Saturday.
At length, thank Fate, the warfare's o'er,
But now, the peevish trump
Insists that all across the floor
We must hop, skip and jump,
For fear that milk-white boards should soil,
Or furniture bewray,
Oh, wo to him that dares to spoil
The work of Saturday;
After rubbing, scrubbing, tearing, swearing, all their
time away,—
Of all the days that make the week, the worst is Saturday.
Then to avoid a din and noise,
For rational delight,
We haste to join some jolly boys,
On Saturday at night;
Then we're met—a jovial set,
We drive dull care away;
In harmony we soon forget
The woes of Saturday.

�7
And their rubbing, scrubbing, tearing, swearing, all the
live-long day;
But the night of mirth will soon requite the woes or
Saturday.

M A G G I E LAUDER.
Wha wadna be in love
Wi* bonnie Maggie Lauder ?
A piper met her gaun to Fife,
And spier'd what was't they ca'd her ?
Right scornfully she answer'd him,
Begone, you hallanshaker;
Jog on your gate, you bladderskate,
My name is Maggie Lauder.
Maggie, quoth he, and by my bags,
I'm fidging fain to see thee,
Sit down by me, my bonny bird,
In troth I winna steer thee:
For I'm a piper to my trade,
My name is Rob the Ranter,
The lasses loup like they were daft,
When I blaw up my chanter.
Piper, quoth Meg, hae you your bags
Or is your drone in order ?
If ye be Rab, I've heard of you,
Live you upon the border ?

�8
The lasses a' bailh far and near
Hae heai d of Rob the Ranter,
I'll shake my foot wi' right good will,
Gif you'll blaw up your chanter.
Then to his bags he flew with speed,
About the drone he twisted,
Meg up and walloped o'er the green,
For brawly could she frisk it.
Weel done, quoth he : play up, quoth she;
Weel bobb'd, quoth Rob the Ranter,
'Tis worth my while to play indeed,
When I hae sic a dancer.
Weel hae you play'd your part, quoth Meg,
Your cheeks are like the crimson;
There's nane in Scotland plays sae weel,
Since we lost Habby Simson.
I've lived in Fife baith maid and wife,
These ten years and a quarter;
Gin you should come to Anster Fair,
Spier ye for Maggy Lauder.
For a' the talk and loud reports
That ever ga'ed against her,
Meg proves a true and carefu' wife,
As ever was in Anster.
An' since the marriage knot was tied,
Rob swears he couldna want her,
For he loes Maggie as his life,
An' Meg loes Rob the Ranter.

�</text>
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                    <text>FUN UPON FUN;&#13;
OK,&#13;
&#13;
LEPER,&#13;
THE&#13;
IN&#13;
&#13;
TAILOR.&#13;
TWO&#13;
WITH&#13;
&#13;
PARTS:&#13;
A&#13;
&#13;
SELECTION OF ENTERTAINING ANECDOTES.&#13;
&#13;
GLASGOW:&#13;
PKINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS&#13;
&#13;
�THE&#13;
&#13;
MERRY&#13;
&#13;
TRICKS&#13;
&#13;
OF&#13;
&#13;
LEPER,&#13;
&#13;
THE&#13;
&#13;
TAILOR.&#13;
&#13;
LEPEK'S father lived in a village about six&#13;
miles from Glasgow, and died when he was&#13;
but very young; he left a widow and three&#13;
children, two daughters and a son ; Leper&#13;
being the youngest, was greatly idolized by&#13;
his mother, who was a good soft-natured&#13;
woman, very industrious, and followed -th|e&#13;
bleaching of cloth;.&#13;
As Leper grew up he grew a very mischievous boy, playing many tricks in the&#13;
neighbourhood, such as tying cats to dogs&#13;
tails, breaking hens' legs, stopping people's&#13;
lums, or chimney-tops.; &gt;so that his poor&#13;
Another was sadly vexed with complaints&#13;
against him.&#13;
•&#13;
\ To get him kept from mischief, she prevailed with;a tailor to take him as an apprentice; he settled and was very peaceable&#13;
for some time, untillie got as much of his&#13;
trade on his finger ends as he might pass&#13;
for a journeyman, aild then he was indifferent whether he stayed with his master or&#13;
Hot; his mistress gave him but very little&#13;
meat when he wrought at home, so he liked&#13;
&#13;
�3&#13;
&#13;
best to be in other houses, where he got&#13;
meat and diversion.&#13;
Leper being resolved on revenge against&#13;
his mistress for her thin kail, no kitchen,&#13;
and little bread; for though flesh was boiled&#13;
in the pot, none was for poor Leper and&#13;
his master* but a little bit on Sundays,&#13;
and all the bones were kept and put in the&#13;
pot, to make the broth through the week.&#13;
Leper perceived* always when she took off&#13;
the pot, she turned her back and took out&#13;
the flesh, and set it on a shelf in her own&#13;
bed-room ; one niglit, after work, he steals&#13;
out a pan, cuts a piece of flesh out of a dead&#13;
horse, and then goes to a lime kiln, and&#13;
boils it; next day, his master being from&#13;
home, his landlady and lie being in the&#13;
house, after she had/ set the pot as usual,&#13;
and taken out her bit of-good beef, he goes*&#13;
out for some time and then comes in, saying, c the ministers lass is wishing to see&#13;
you, to go directly and speak to her mistress/ Off she goes in all haste; Leper runs&#13;
and takes away her bit of good meat, and&#13;
lays down his horse flesh ; and knowing she&#13;
would return in a passion, and sit down&#13;
with a soss in her cushioned chair, as slie&#13;
used, he takes a large pin and staps it&#13;
straight through the,cushion, with its head&#13;
on the chair?fand the point to Her b^clfside.&#13;
So in she chines in a rage, and down she&#13;
w-&#13;
&#13;
�4&#13;
&#13;
sits with all her weight on the pin point ;&#13;
and she roars out murder! murder! for she&#13;
was sticket in the a—e ; the neighbours&#13;
came running in. and Leper went out with&#13;
his bit of good beef, leaving the wives to&#13;
doctor his landlady's do up, as they pleased;&#13;
hestill denied the doing of it, and his master&#13;
believed it might happen accidentally, but&#13;
the houdie was very oft to be had before it&#13;
was got hale again ; and his landlady by&#13;
eating of the horse beef took such a loathing at flesh, that Leper and his master got&#13;
all the beef ever after, and his landlady&#13;
turned one of the kindest mistresses a prentice could Wish for.&#13;
There was a neighbour wTife on whom&#13;
Leper used to play tricks sometimes, for&#13;
which she came and complained to his&#13;
master and had him severely beaten several&#13;
times. Leper resolved to be revenged on&#13;
her, so one night he came to the backside&#13;
of the house (110 one being in but herself),&#13;
and took up a big stone and runs along the&#13;
rough wall with all his strength, which roared like thunder in the inside of the house,&#13;
ami frighted the wife so that she thought the&#13;
house was tumbling down about her ears,&#13;
and she ran out and sat down at a distance,&#13;
looking every minute when the house would&#13;
fall down, till her husband came home and&#13;
persuaded her to go in, to whom she told&#13;
&#13;
�the above story ; ' lio'ut tout, daft tapie/ said&#13;
he, 4 the house will staftd these hundred&#13;
years/ Leper knowing they were both in,&#13;
comes and plays the same trick over again,&#13;
which also frightened the good man so much&#13;
that he cried out, ' run, Maggy, run, for my&#13;
heart plays pitty patty/ And they would&#13;
not lodge in the house any more, till the&#13;
masons convinced them of its sufficiency.&#13;
There was another neighbour who had a&#13;
*&#13;
snarling cur dog, which bit Leper's leg..&#13;
Leper resolved to be revenged on the clog,&#13;
and so one night he catches the dog, and&#13;
carries him to the kirk, where the rope of&#13;
the bell hung on the outside, so with his&#13;
garter lie tied the dog's fore foot to the rope,&#13;
and left him hanging; the dog struggling to&#13;
get free set the bell a ringing, which alarmed&#13;
the whole village, every one cried out 'wonderful fire! wonderful fire! the devil is ringing the bell/ When they saw the black&#13;
colley hanging at the rope, I trow it set the&#13;
minister and all the people to their prayers:&#13;
but Leper fearing he would be detected by&#13;
his garter, came to the minister's side, and&#13;
asked the reverend gentleman what was the&#13;
matter; indeed, my bairn,' said he,' 'tis the&#13;
deil ringing the kirk bell;' says Leper ' I'll&#13;
go and see him, for I never saw the devil;'&#13;
the minister cried stop the mad laddie, but&#13;
Leper ran and losed the dog, crying 1 its&#13;
&#13;
�6&#13;
such a man's dog, which had the rope in its&#13;
teeth i they all cried out, 'the deils i' the&#13;
cur, the deil's i' the dog/ then took up stones&#13;
and felled poor colley, and the devil got the&#13;
blame of making the dog ring the bell&#13;
This spread Leper's fame, for being one of&#13;
the wisest and most courageous tailors that&#13;
was in all the kingdom; and many shaking&#13;
their heads, said, 'it was a pity he was a&#13;
tailor, but a captain or a general of an army,&#13;
as the devil could not fear him.'After this, a farmer in the neighbourhood&#13;
hearing the fame of Leper, how he had&#13;
frighted the deil frae being a bellman, sent&#13;
for him to an alehouse, and drank with him&#13;
very heartily, and told him he was sadly&#13;
borne down by a spirit of jealousy against&#13;
his wife; and a suspicion of her being too free&#13;
with a servant lad he had before; and if he&#13;
w^ould keep it a secret and learn him to find&#13;
it out, he would give his mother a load of&#13;
meal, to which Leper agreed; so he gave the&#13;
poor supposed cuckold instructions how to&#13;
behave.. So home he goes and feigns himself&#13;
very sick, and every day worse and worse,&#13;
taking death to him ; blesses his three small&#13;
children, and charges his wife not to marry&#13;
until his children could do something for&#13;
themselves; this hypocritical woman takes a&#13;
crying, ' Aha! marry,'she would never marry! ' no, no, there should never a man lie by&#13;
&#13;
�7&#13;
my side, or kiss my Hps after thee r my am&#13;
dear lamb Johnny.' Then he acts .the. dead&#13;
man as well as he possibly could? [pta neighbours were called in, and he'sjfajrly o'erseen, as the old saying is, befp^e^^^n^ig^if&#13;
bours.&#13;
The sorrowful widow.. am^e ^fidlament, wrung her hands and'tpfQ her Imir.&#13;
The reverend women about began to dross&#13;
the corpse, askcc|&gt;her for a shirt. • ^ y , ay,'&#13;
said she, ' he has twa new linen ^arks, and&#13;
there is an auld ane in the bottom o' the.&#13;
kist, that naebody can wear ; ony thing7a&#13;
good enough for the grave;' ' well/ said&#13;
they, ' we must have some linen for,a winding sheet; 'aweel,' quo' she, ' I ha'e twa&#13;
cut o' linen i' the Ifist neuk&gt; but there's a&#13;
pair o' auld linen sheets, hol'd i' the middle,&#13;
may do well enough, I had need to be qarefu', I'm a poor widow the day, wi' three sma'&#13;
bairns.'&#13;
Well, the corpse is dressed and laid on&#13;
the tap of the big chest, while neighbours&#13;
sat by her condoling her paisfortune, and&#13;
how the funeral raisins were t;o be provided.&#13;
Said one, 'the coffin must need be se$n abput&#13;
first.' 'Ay, ay, he has some new fljeals in the&#13;
barn ; he bought them to make a bed o ;&#13;
but we'll no break them, there's thq auld&#13;
barn door, and the caff kist will do well&#13;
enough, ony thing's gude enough, to gang&#13;
to the grave wi'; but 0,' quo' she, 'send for&#13;
&#13;
�8&#13;
&#13;
Sandy, my honest auld servant, and hell&#13;
see every thing right done ; 111 tell him&#13;
where hell get siller to do anything wi';&#13;
he's the lad that will not see me wrang'd.'&#13;
Then Sandy comes wrying his face, and&#13;
rubbing his eyes. ' 0 , Sandy, there's a sad&#13;
alteration here,' and ba-a, she cries like a&#13;
bitten calf, ' 0 sirs, will ye gang a' butt the&#13;
house till I tell ye what to do.' Butt they&#13;
went, and there she fell a kissing of Sandy,&#13;
and said, ' now, my dear, the auld chattering&#13;
ghaist is awa and we'll get our will o' ither;&#13;
be as haining of everything as ye can, for&#13;
thou kens it's a' thy ain ;' but the corpse'&#13;
sister and some other people coming in, ben&#13;
they came to see the corpse, lifts up the&#13;
cloth off his face, and seeing him all in a&#13;
pour of sweat, said, ' heigh, he's a bonny&#13;
corp, and a lively like colour.' When he&#13;
could no longer contain himself to carry on&#13;
the joke, up he got among them. A deal&#13;
of people ran for it, and his wife cried out&#13;
" 0 , my dear, do you ken me?' ' Ay, you&#13;
base jade and whore, better than ever I did.'&#13;
Jumps on the floor, gets his staff and runs&#13;
after Sandy, and catches him in the fields,&#13;
a little from the house ; and ate and drank&#13;
with his sister and neighbours who came to&#13;
see his corpse. Poor Sandy w^ent home with&#13;
a skin full of terror, and a sorting of sore&#13;
bones, took a sore fever, and died a few&#13;
&#13;
�9&#13;
days after ; so he got quit of his cockolder,&#13;
and Leper's mother got her load of meal.&#13;
Leper's mother was a careful industrious&#13;
wife, but as the bye-word is, ' a working&#13;
mother makes a dally daughter,' and so it&#13;
happened here, for she had two glaikit sluts&#13;
of daughters that would do nothing but lie&#13;
in their bed in the morning, till, as the saying is, ' the sun was like to burn a hole in&#13;
their backsides.' The old woman, who was&#13;
bleaching some cloth, was very early at&#13;
work in the mornings, and Leper s patience&#13;
being worn out with the laziness of his two&#13;
sisters, he resolved to play a trick 011 them,&#13;
for their reformation, so he goes and gets a&#13;
mortcloth, and spread it on the bed above&#13;
them, and sends the dead bell through the&#13;
town, inviting the people next day, at four&#13;
o'clock afternoon, to the burial of his two&#13;
sisters, for they had died suddenly. This&#13;
brought all the neighbouring wives in, who&#13;
O&#13;
©&#13;
O&#13;
R&#13;
one after another lifted up the mortcloth,&#13;
and said, with a sigh, f they've gone to their&#13;
rest; a sudden call indeed!' Their aunt"&#13;
hearing of this sudden news, came running&#13;
in all haste, and coming where the jades'&#13;
mither was at work, and was ignorant of the&#13;
story, she cries out, ( Fye upon ye, woman,&#13;
fye upon ye!' ' What's the matter, sister,'&#13;
says she, ' what's the matter ?' ' I think you&#13;
might let your wark stand for a'e day, when&#13;
&#13;
�10&#13;
&#13;
your daughters are baith lying corpse/ 'My&#13;
bairns corpse! I am certain they went to&#13;
bed hale and fair last night/ 4 But, I tell&#13;
you/ said the other, 'the dead bell has been&#13;
thro' warning tho folks to the burial/ then&#13;
the mother cries out, ' 0 the villain! 0 the&#13;
villain, that he did not send me word/ So&#13;
they both ran, and the mother as soon as&#13;
she entered the house, flies, to the bed, crying, ' 0 , my bairn0, my dear bairns / on&#13;
which the sluts rose'up in a consternation,&#13;
to the great surprise, of the beholders, and&#13;
the great mortification of the girls, who&#13;
thought shame to set their noses out of&#13;
doors, and to the great diversion of the&#13;
whole town.&#13;
Leper and his'master went to a gentleman's. house to work, where there was a&#13;
saucy houserkeeper, who had more ignorance and pride than good sense and manners; she domineered over her fellow servants&#13;
in a tyrannical manner. Leper resolved to&#13;
mortify her pride; so. he finds an ant's nest,&#13;
and takes their white eggs, grinds them to&#13;
a powder, ancl puts them into the dish her&#13;
supper so wen s was to be put in. After she&#13;
had taken her supper, as she was covering&#13;
the table, the imno6k powder began to operate, and she let a great f—. ' Well done,&#13;
Margaret, said the Laird, your a— would&#13;
take a cautioner/ Before she got out of the&#13;
&#13;
�11&#13;
&#13;
eh amber door slie let fly another crack;&#13;
then she goes to order her fellow servant to&#13;
give the: Laird hi&amp; stippieiy but before she&#13;
could give t.he necessary directions, she gave&#13;
fire again, which ;set them all a laughing;&#13;
she runs into a room herself, and there she&#13;
played away her one gun battery so fast&#13;
that you wotildhave thought she had been&#13;
beseigittg the Savannah. The Laird and&#13;
Lady came to hear the fun, they were like&#13;
to split their sides at proud Maggy. So&#13;
next morniiVg she left her place, to the great&#13;
satisfaction of all her fellow servants.&#13;
&#13;
PART&#13;
&#13;
II.&#13;
&#13;
L E P E R ' S landlady became very harsh to his&#13;
master, and very often abused him exceedingly sore with. her tongue and hands, and&#13;
always called upon him for more money,&#13;
and to have all the money in her keeping,&#13;
which Leper was sorry for. It so happened&#13;
on a day that the tailor had got a hearty&#13;
drubbing, both with tongue and tongs, that&#13;
he pouched his thimble and was going to&#13;
make a queen of her. When she saw that,&#13;
she cried out, 'Of will you leave'a poor&#13;
tender dying woman/ But Leper knowing&#13;
the cause of her ill nature better than his&#13;
&#13;
�12&#13;
&#13;
master did, advised him to take her on a fine&#13;
day, like a mile out of town and give her a&#13;
walk, and he would stay at home and study&#13;
a remedy for her disorder. Away they both&#13;
go ; but as she was also complaining for&#13;
want of health, and that she was very weak,&#13;
she cried out frequently, ' 0 ! 'tis a crying&#13;
sin to take a woman in my condition out&#13;
o'er a door.' During their absence, Leper&#13;
goes and searches the bed, and below the&#13;
bolster gets a bottle of rare whisky, of which&#13;
he takes a hearty pull, and then pisses in it&#13;
to make it up ; gets a halfpenny worth of&#13;
snuff, and puts it in also, shakes all together, and so sets it in its place again.&#13;
Home they came, and she was exceedingly&#13;
distressed as a woman could be, and cried&#13;
out, it was a horrid thing to take her out&#13;
of the house. The tailor seeing her so bad,&#13;
thought she would have died, ran as fast as&#13;
he could for a dram, but she in her hypocrisy pretended she could not take it, and&#13;
called on him to help her to bed, into which&#13;
he lays her. She was not well gone when&#13;
she fell to her bottle, taking two or three&#13;
hearty gluts ; then she roars out, 1 Murder,&#13;
I'm poisoned, I'm poisoned.' Bocking and&#13;
purging began, and the neighbours were&#13;
called in ; she lays her blood upon poor&#13;
Leper, and tells how snich an honest woman&#13;
brought her a'e bottle as another was done,&#13;
&#13;
�and the murdering loon had stolen it and&#13;
put in a bottle of poison instead of it. Leper&#13;
took to his heels, but was pursued and&#13;
carried before a Justice of the Peace, where&#13;
he told all he had done, which made the&#13;
J ustice laugh heartily at the joke; and the&#13;
tailors wife was well purged from her&#13;
feigned sickness, laziness, and cursed ill&#13;
nature; for always when she began to curl&#13;
her nose for the future, the tailor had no&#13;
more to say, but ' Maggy mind the bottle/&#13;
Leper was working with a master-tailor&#13;
in Glasgow, who hungered his men ; and&#13;
one morning, just when breakfast was set&#13;
on the table, in comes a gentleman to try&#13;
on a suit of clothes. The master being&#13;
obliged to rise, desired the lads to say the&#13;
grace themselves. Every one refused it,&#13;
and put it to his neighbour, till Leper undertook it, and said with an audible voice,&#13;
that the stranger gentleman might overhear him, as follows:— 'Ocli, hoch! we are&#13;
a parcel of poor beastly bodies, and we are&#13;
as beastly minded; if we do not work we&#13;
get nothing to eat; yet we are always eating and always fretting; singing and half&#13;
starving is like to be our fortune ; scartings&#13;
and scrapings are the most of our mouthfuls. We would fain thank Thee, for our&#13;
benefactors are not worthy the acknowledging ;—hey. Amen/ The gentleman&#13;
&#13;
�14&#13;
&#13;
laughed till his sides were like to bursty and&#13;
gave Leper half-a-crown to drink.&#13;
Leper was not long done with his apprenticeship till he set up for himself, and&#13;
got a journeyman and an apprentice, was&#13;
coming into very good business, and had&#13;
he restrained his roguish tricks, he might&#13;
have done very well. He and his lads being employed to work in a farmer's house,&#13;
where the housewife was a great miser, and&#13;
not very cle&amp;hly in making meat, and&#13;
snivelled through her nose greatly when&#13;
she spoke. In the morning, when she went&#13;
to make the potage, she made a fashion of&#13;
washing the pot, which to appearance&#13;
seemed to him to have been among the first&#13;
that had been made; then sets it before the&#13;
fire till she went to the well, in which time&#13;
Leper looking into it, sees two great-holes&#13;
etapped with clouts, he takes up his goose*&#13;
and holds it as high as his head, then lets&#13;
it drop into the pot, which knocked oiit the&#13;
bottom of it. Presently in comes the wife&#13;
with the water, and pours it into the pot,&#13;
which set the fireside all in a dam. for still&#13;
as she poured in, it ran out: the wife being&#13;
short-sighted, or what they call sand blind,&#13;
looks into the pot, holds up both her hands&#13;
and cries, ' Losh, preserve me, sirs, for the&#13;
grip atween the twa holes is broken.* Says&#13;
Leper, * the pot was old enough; but do you&#13;
&#13;
�15&#13;
&#13;
not ken that tailof's potage is heavier than&#13;
other men's.' ' Indeed, lad, I believe it, but&#13;
they say ye're a warlock ; it's Wednesday&#13;
to me indeed, my pot might ha'e served&#13;
me this fifty year, a sae wad it e'en.'&#13;
This sport diverted Leper and his lads&#13;
through the day, and after supper, knowing&#13;
he was to get some dirty bed, as the cows&#13;
and the people lived all in one apartment,&#13;
he chose rather to go home; and knowing&#13;
the moon was to rise a little after midnight,&#13;
he sat by the fire, told them many a fine&#13;
story to drive away the time, and bade the&#13;
wife make the bed to see how it might be.&#13;
To save candle she made it in the dark, just&#13;
on the floor behind where they sat, shaking down two bottles of straw. A calf&#13;
which chanced to be lying on that place,&#13;
and which the wife did not notice, was&#13;
covered with the straw, and the bed clothes&#13;
spread over it. The most of the family&#13;
being in bed, the wife told them to go to&#13;
bed also, but Leper knowing of the calf,&#13;
said, ' I'll make my bed come to me,' on&#13;
which the wife began to pray for herself&#13;
and all that was in the house ; so up he&#13;
gets his ellwand, and gives a stroke on the&#13;
bed which caused the brute to rise, and&#13;
not seeing where to go, it fell a crying and&#13;
turned round, which set the whole house&#13;
a roaring out murder in their own tongue.&#13;
&#13;
�16&#13;
The gooclwife ran to bed above the goodman, and the whole family cried out, not&#13;
knowing what it was; but Leper and his&#13;
two lads whipt off the blankets, and the&#13;
brute ran in among the rest unperceived;&#13;
then Leper lighted a candle, and all of&#13;
them got out of bed, paid Leper for his&#13;
work, and more if he pleased, and begged&#13;
him to go away, and take the devil with&#13;
him. So home he went, but never was&#13;
employed by that wife any more.&#13;
Leper had a peal of the best customers&#13;
both in town and country; so one time he&#13;
had occasion to go to the parish of Inchinan,&#13;
to make a wedding suit for a gentleman.&#13;
After they were finished, he desired drink&#13;
money for his lads, which the gentleman&#13;
refused. Leper resolved to be even with&#13;
him, so he goes to the hay loft where the&#13;
groom slept, and takes his stockings,&#13;
breeches, and jacket, sewed them together,&#13;
and stuffs them full of hay; makes a head,&#13;
puts a rope about the neck, and hangs it&#13;
on a tree, opposite to the laird's window ;&#13;
then goes to the laird and tells him that&#13;
his groom had hanged himself, and that if&#13;
he would open his window he would see&#13;
him hanging; the laird was struck with&#13;
astonishment, and knew not what to do;&#13;
Leper advises him to bury him privately.&#13;
The laird said he had not a servant he&#13;
&#13;
�17&#13;
&#13;
could trust, so begged Leper to do it.&#13;
Leper refuses, till the laird promises him&#13;
a load of meal; then Leper pulls out all&#13;
the hay out of the groom's clothes ; goes&#13;
and gets his load of meal, and sendirit to&#13;
Glasgow; then goes to the groom, and&#13;
says, 4 Thy master is wanting thee/ So&#13;
the lad in all haste runs to see what his&#13;
master wanted. The laird no sooner saw&#13;
him open the door than he cried out,&#13;
'Avoid thee, Satan; avoid thee, Satan!'&#13;
The lad says, ' What's the matter?' 'Did&#13;
you not hang yourself this morning?'&#13;
' Lord forbid!' said the lad. The laird says,&#13;
' If thou be an earthly creature, take that&#13;
tankard and drink;' which he did. Then&#13;
says he to his master, ' Leper called me&#13;
up, and said you wanted me in all haste/&#13;
' Ho, ho/ said the laird, ' I find out the&#13;
story now; if I had Leper, I would run&#13;
my sword through him/ But Leper before&#13;
that was gone to Glasgow with his meal.&#13;
Leper was in use to give his lads their&#13;
Sunday's supper, which obliged him to stay&#13;
from the kirk in the afternoon, he having&#13;
neither wife nor servant maid; so one Sunday afternoon, as he was cooking his pot,&#13;
John Mueklecheek, and James Puff-andblaw, two civileers, having more zeal than&#13;
knowledge, came upon him, and said,&#13;
' What's the matter5 sir, you go not to the&#13;
&#13;
�-—A^HFEI&#13;
&#13;
18&#13;
&#13;
kirk? Leper replied, ' I ' m reading my&#13;
book and cooking my pot, which I think&#13;
is a work of necessity/ Then says the one&#13;
to the other, ' Don't answer that graceless&#13;
fellow; well make him appear before his&#13;
betters/ So they took the kail pot, and&#13;
puts a staff through the bools, and bears&#13;
it to the Clerk's chamber. Leper, who was&#13;
never at a loss for invention, goes to the&#13;
Principal of the College's house, no body&#13;
being at home but a lass roasting a leg of&#13;
mutton. Leper says, ' My dear, will you&#13;
go and bring me a drink of ale, and I'll&#13;
turn the spit till you come back/ The lass&#13;
was no sooner gone than he runs away&#13;
with the. leg of mutton, wdiich served his&#13;
lads and him for their supper. When the&#13;
Principal came home, he was neither to&#13;
hand nor to bind, he viras so angry ; so on&#13;
Monday he goes and makes a complaint to&#13;
the Lord Provost, who sends two officers&#13;
for Leper, who came immediately. My&#13;
Lord asked hitn how lie dared to take away&#13;
the Principal's mutton. Leper replied,&#13;
' How dared your civileers to take away&#13;
my kail: pot ?. I'm sure there is less sin&#13;
in making a pot full of kail, , than roasting&#13;
a leg of mutton; law makers should not&#13;
be law breakers, so I demand justice on&#13;
the civileers.' The Provost askbdr him&#13;
what justice he would have.&#13;
Says he,&#13;
&#13;
�19&#13;
&#13;
* make them cai;ry the pot back again; and&#13;
to the Principal, a leg of mutton will not&#13;
make him and me fall out.' So they were&#13;
forced to carry the pot back again ; and&#13;
Leper caused the boys to huzza after them&#13;
to their disgrace. ?&#13;
There was a barber who always plagued&#13;
Leper, and called him ' Prick-the-louse/&#13;
Leper resolved to be even writh him, so he&#13;
goes and buys three sheep heads, £ind sends&#13;
for the barber, and told him that there&#13;
were three fine Southland gentlemen just&#13;
come to his house, which much wanted to&#13;
be shaved ; and he assured him he would&#13;
receive sixpence for each of them. This&#13;
good news made the shaver send for a&#13;
dram. Leper was still praising them for&#13;
quiet good natured gentlemen. So Leper&#13;
takes him to the bed where the sheep heads&#13;
lay covered, and desired him to awaken&#13;
them for they would not be angry; or say&#13;
an ill word to him. The barber lifts the&#13;
covering and sees the sheep heads, runs&#13;
out cursing and swearing, and Leper crying after him, ' Sheep head barber/&#13;
The barber resolved to be revenged on&#13;
Leper, so when he -was shaving Mess John,&#13;
he tells him "that Leper was the drunkeftest&#13;
fellow in the parish. So Mess John w:arns&#13;
him to the session. Leper comes and says,&#13;
' What do you want with me, Sir ? 6 Come&#13;
&#13;
�- NTH X&#13;
NQ F .&#13;
&#13;
So&#13;
away, Leper/ says Mess John, 6 1 hear a&#13;
bad report of yon/ * Me Sir, I am sure&#13;
they were not my'frieiids that told you&#13;
that/ 'Indeed, I am informed you are a&#13;
drunkard/ 4 1 a drunkard ; you have not&#13;
a soberer man in your parish. Stop, Sir,&#13;
I will tell you how I lead my life:—In&#13;
the morning, I take a choppin of ale and&#13;
a bit of bread, that I call my morning ;&#13;
for breakfast, I generally take a herring&#13;
and a choppin of ale, for I cannot sup brose&#13;
like my lads ; the herring makes me dry,&#13;
so at eleven hours I take a pint, and sometimes three choppins; at supper, I take a&#13;
bit of bread and cheese and a pint, and so&#13;
go to bed/ Mess John says, ' It's excessive drinking ; I allow you one half of it&#13;
for a quarter of a year/ Says Leper, ' 111&#13;
try it, Sir, and come back and tell you/&#13;
At the end of the quarter he draws out his&#13;
account, and goes to Mess John, who was&#13;
sitting with his elders in the Session-house,&#13;
and says, ' Sir, I have a demand on you/&#13;
1 On me, Sir/&#13;
4 Yes, on you, Sir ; don't&#13;
you remember you allowed me so much&#13;
drink for a quarter of a year, and I want&#13;
the money/ 4 Am I to pay your reckoning,&#13;
Sir/ ' You allowed it, and if you wont&#13;
pay it, 111 take you before the Provost/&#13;
The elders advised him to pay it or he&#13;
would be affronted; so Leper got the&#13;
&#13;
�21&#13;
&#13;
money. When he was at the door, he says,&#13;
4 Sir, will you stand another quarter.' 4 Get&#13;
away, says Mess John, and don't trouble&#13;
me.' Leper says, ' I am sure you may,&#13;
for I am always twopence to your penny.'&#13;
THE END.&#13;
&#13;
A N E C D O T E S .&#13;
INCONVENIENCE OF A PETITION.&#13;
A reverend Gentleman, when visiting&#13;
his parishioners, was in one house first saluted with the growling of a dog, and afterwards by the cheering voice of a female.&#13;
D—ning the dog for his ill-bi*eeding, he&#13;
advanced and enquired for the master of&#13;
the house. c What do ye want wi' that?'&#13;
said the female. 4 W e are wishing to see&#13;
him,' said the Reverend Gentleman, 'will&#13;
ye be so good as bring him to us ?' • I'll&#13;
gang nae sic an errand,' said she; ' ye may&#13;
gang doon to the market yersel', an' ye'll&#13;
see him there; they're thrang killin' the&#13;
day. But what are ye wantin' wi' Pate,&#13;
if a body micht speir.' ' This is the minister,' said the elder who accompanied him,&#13;
4 he is wishing to have some conversation&#13;
with Peter, and to put up a petition.' 4 A&#13;
petition! a petition!' exclaimed the matron,&#13;
4 ye'll put up nae patition here; the house&#13;
&#13;
�22&#13;
&#13;
is wee eneugh already, an' wha do ye&#13;
think's gaunjto be fashed wi' masons an*&#13;
wrightS, an' a' thae elanjamfray about their&#13;
house? Faith no—the devil a petition will&#13;
be putten up in this house as lang's am&#13;
in't; we're gaun to flit at Whitsunday, so&#13;
ye may come then an' put up as mony&#13;
petitions as ye like/&#13;
DUKE OF BUCCLEUCH.&#13;
Henry, Duke of Buccleueh was greatly&#13;
beloved by his numerous tenantry. One of&#13;
his small tenants, Jamie Howie by name,&#13;
had a son about four years of age, who,&#13;
having heard much of the great Duke of&#13;
Buccleuch, was very anxious to see him.&#13;
Honest Jamie, in a few days, was honoured&#13;
with a visit from the Duke; when Jamie&#13;
doffing his bonnet, and making a reverential&#13;
bow, says, 4 0 , my lord! ye maunna be&#13;
angry wi' me, but it's God's truth, my&#13;
lord, there's a daft wee callant o' mine&#13;
that canna rest, nor let others rest, nicht&#13;
nor d a y ; he has ta'en in his head sic a&#13;
notion o' seeing what like ye are ; gudesakc; my lord, I dinna think he has ony&#13;
y edea ye are a man at a', but some far awa,&#13;
outlandish, ower sea creature.' The Duke,&#13;
mightily tickled with this fancy, desired&#13;
Jamie to bring the youngster into his presence forthwith. Out comes the juvenile&#13;
&#13;
�23&#13;
inquisitor with his finger in f his mouth,&#13;
and cautiously recqnnoitres the personage&#13;
before . Mmi ; A t last quoth the urchin,&#13;
' G m y&amp; soorn,?' ' N o , my little fellow/'&#13;
replied his grace, ' I canna sootn/ ' Can&#13;
ye flee?' ' No, I canna flee/ 1 Weel, man,&#13;
for as muckle's ye're, I wadna gie ane o'&#13;
my father's dukes for ye, for they can baith&#13;
soom an flee/&#13;
A BAMS' TO PIKE.&#13;
Some boys diverting themselves in one&#13;
of the streets of Edinburgh, observed on a&#13;
door, a brass plate with A1—-x&gt;—rid—r&#13;
Guthrie, W.S., engraved on it. In their&#13;
diversion, they broke a pane of glass in one&#13;
of the windows, upon which Mrs. Guthrie&#13;
and the maid sallied forth and seized one&#13;
of the delinquents.&#13;
' Y e young rascal,&#13;
what's yer name?'-says the lady. ' Saundy/&#13;
replied the boy. ' What's yer ither name? ;&#13;
J Guthrie/&#13;
&lt; Wha's yer mither?'&#13;
&lt; My&#13;
mither sells bird's cages/ ' Whaur does&#13;
she live? '' I' the Patter R a w / 4 Wha's&#13;
yer father?' ' I dinna ken/' c D o ye no&#13;
ken yer faither?' 4 Na! he.ne'er comes but&#13;
whan it's dark, an' naebody kens bit my&#13;
mither.' Upon hearing this, the lady in&#13;
a passion let gb 'her victim, and running&#13;
into the room where her husband was sitsing, fell a-scolding him like a fury about&#13;
&#13;
�24&#13;
his infidelity&#13;
rogue laughed&#13;
his fraud, and&#13;
said to them,&#13;
bane to pike!'&#13;
&#13;
towards her. The young&#13;
heartily at the success of&#13;
turning to his companions,&#13;
' I think I've gi'en her a&#13;
&#13;
SEEING- ONE DRUNK.&#13;
The late Rev. Mr. C&#13;
of D&#13;
,&#13;
Aberdeenshire, was fond of his friend and&#13;
a bottle; he sacrificed so often and so freely&#13;
to the jolly god, that the presbytery could&#13;
110 longer overlook such proceedings, and&#13;
summoned him before them to answer for&#13;
his conduct. One of the elders, and constant companion in his social hours, was&#13;
cited as a witness against him. ' Well,&#13;
John (says one of the presbytery to the&#13;
elder), did you ever see the Eev. Mr. C&#13;
the worse of drink ?' ' Weel a wy te, n o ;&#13;
I've mony a time seen him the better o ; t,&#13;
but I ne'er saw him the waur o't.' ' But,&#13;
did you never see him drunk?' ' That's&#13;
what I'll ne'er see, for before he be half&#13;
slockened, I'm aye blind fu'/&#13;
&#13;
§&#13;
&#13;
FINIS.&#13;
&#13;
§&#13;
&#13;
�</text>
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